Lameos
by Nerdsbane
Summary: A parody of Heroes stories with Mary Sues. It makes fun of the cliches and stereotypes in fan fiction. Eventually, other Sues will be introduced.
1. I Am Become Perfection

In recent years, a group of seemingly random individuals has emerged that can only be described as "annoying".

Although unaware of it now, these individuals not only butcher expertly-crafted storylines and characters, but make the world worse. Every story, even a crappy one, has a beginning.

Volume One of their eye-roll inducing journey begins now.

**Volume One: Awful New World**

Chapter One: I Am Become Perfection

The bright September sun slowly creeped through the window, shining into the beautiful face of a pretty, mysterious-looking girl as she gently slept in her dorm room at Arlington University. The girl daintily opened her beautiful, big eyes that seemed to change to all of the colors of the rainbow and yawned. She crawled out of bed, letting her waist-length, raven-black hair that shined in many colors fall over her shoulders.

She looked around her dorm room. It had all of the latest stuff: a big screen plasma tv, her macbook, all of the major video game consoles, and even a hot tub! Best of all, she didn't have a roommate, so she had it all to herself! How awesome!

She glanced at her calendar. Today was Saturday, which meant she had to go to work. That was ok, though, because she loved her job. She was an agent with a top-secret Company. She had started working there in high school back when she had lived in Texas, after they realized how special she was, but it had disbanded until recently. When her boss, Angela Petrelli, decided to restart it, she had been the first one called to be an agent because of her skills.

She picked out an outfit for the day- a black half dress, half shorts type thing like Tifa from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children, her favorite movie; an elegant black top with spaghetti straps; and black lace-up combat boots. She got dressed in her totally awesome outfit, then headed outside. It was a beautiful, sunny day with clear skies- perfect for flying. She looked around to check for people, and, seeing none, zoomed into the air!

Flying was her favorite way to travel. Ordinarily, she would just teleport, but today was such an extraordinarily beautiful day that she just couldn't resist. Unlike most special people, she had numerous abilities- fourteen, to be exact, not counting her natural ability, Intuitive Aptitude, which she had inherited from her father, Samson Gray. Unlike him though, and also unlike a half brother who she had heard of but never met, she was never affected by the hunger, and had therefore never killed anyone for her abilities. All of her abilities had been absorbed empathically through touch. She continued rocketing towards New York faster than the speed of sound.

She spotted the recently-constructed Company building below her, then began to elegantly descend. She did numerous kickass backflips and twirls like no one else could, then gingerly landed on her feet in front of the glass double doors. How awesome!

She walked inside, and spotted the new security guard, Dave.

"Oh great," she thought to herself. "This baka can never remember my name, and it ends up taking forever to sign in."

"Good morning!" Dave greeted her with his stupid smile. She hated him so much, and didn't do much to hide it.

"Hey," she replied bluntly.

"If I can just get your name, I'll sign you in."

"You should know my name by now," she snapped. "You've been working here for two months. My name is Serenity Uzumaki."

"Oh yeah!" he said with a smile. "Sorry Serenity! I'll try to remember it next time!"

"Yeah right…" Serenity muttered under her breath. If she wouldn't get fired for it, she would totally use her powers to kill him.

Dave signed her in, then she proceeded to the elevator. She pressed the button to go to the thirteenth floor, which is where her office was.

She got off the elevator after it arrived on her floor. She nearly bumped into her boss, Angela Petrelli, as she entered the hallway.

"Good morning, Agent Uzumaki," Angela said with an enormous smile.

"Hello, Mrs. Petrelli," replied Serenity.

"We have a mission briefing for you and some others in three hours in the board room. I've left the information in a folder on your desk in your office," said Angela. She was so glad she had convinced Serenity to be an agent again!

"Okay Mrs. Petrelli! Thanks!" Serenity replied as Angela walked off.

She opened her office door, and walked in. (Author's Note: It looks just like Arthur Petrelli's Pinehearst office! Isn't it great how I can just make an author's note instead of actually describing it like a real writer? LOL!) She saw the folder Angela had talked about sitting on her desk. She sat down in her super-comfortable chair, which she then began floating with her telekinesis, picked up the folder, and began to look over the mission specs.

"Looks like a tough one… For other people!" Serenity laughed. "For me, though, this will be so easy!"

She threw down the folder on her desk, telekinetically sat her chair back on the ground, and stood up. She looked in the mirror behind her desk.

"I'm sooo pretty," she said to herself. "Much prettier than all of the girls in high school. And cooler, too!"

She turned around.

"But what am I going to do for three whole hours?" She thought for a minute, then decided to watch Naruto, her favorite anime, for awhile. She pressed a button on her desk, causing the tv to flip out from a panel on the wall. She then sat in her chair, telekinetically lifted it, then moved it in front of the tv while still letting it float. It is sooo awesome to basically get paid to watch anime!

Later…

Angela sat at the head of the conference table. Also seated at the table were agents Smith, Anderson, and Urameshi.

Agent Smith was a thin, mousy-looking man with light brown hair and wire frame glasses. He had a secret crush on Serenity, or at least he thought it was secret, because Serenity totally knew, but she didn't like him like that. He had the ability to heal any living thing he touched, which Serenity had replicated from him some time ago.

Agent Anderson was a really tall guy with shoulder length black hair, red eyes, and a scar over his left eye. He thought Serenity was the coolest person ever, and wished he was as good an agent as her. He had the ability to fly.

Lastly, Agent Urameshi was a girl Serenity's age with silver hair and one green eye and one blue eye. She had been Serenity's best friend since elementary school, and had become an agent shortly after Serenity showed her her powers. She didn't have any powers, though, so she wasn't near as cool or special.

"As soon as Agent Uzumaki arrives," stated Angela professionally, "I will brief you on today's mission." She began to trail off. "I do wonder where she is… I'm always sooo worried about her, because she is so special…"

"Yeah, she is! I'm worried too!" blurted Agent Smith.

"Me too! She is the only reason to live!" added Agent Anderson.

Just then, in the blink of an eye, Serenity appeared. She had teleported in just in time for the meeting!

"Ok, I'm here!" Serenity cheerfully stated. "I _had _to finish the episode of Naruto I was watching, because it's, like, the best show ever."

"I know!" cheerfully replied Angela. "I watch it too, even though I'm a sixty-six year old woman, because this is your world, Serenity, so everything is the way you like it, including me being _completely _out of character!"

"Awesome!" replied Serenity.

"Now," Angela stated, "I assume you have all gone over the mission specs."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Excellent," Angela replied. "As you know, I restarted the Company after my granddaughter revealed our kind to the world, in order to keep the most dangerous of us out of sight, and to give Serenity something awesome to do with her super cool powers, because this story wouldn't be _so_ awesome otherwise."

Everyone nodded in agreement again.

"Well, now we have the most dangerous one so far." She held up a picture of a man with long red hair and purple eyes. He was _totally _hawt, in Serenity's opinion. "His name is Tetsuya Matsumoto. He's been going around attacking people, mostly others with abilities. He's somewhere in Costa Verde, California. It's your mission to bring him in."

"No problem!" replied Agent Anderson with a grin. "With Serenity helping us, this'll be a piece of cake!"

"Fo shizzle," replied Angela. "We have a cell prepared for him on the new Level 5."

"Alright! Let's go!" Serenity exclaimed.

Everyone joined hands, and Serenity used her ability to bend time and space to teleport them to Costa Verde, on to their mission!


	2. A Title That Sounds Stupid

Chapter Two: A Title That Sounds Stupid

Serenity, Agent Smith, Agent Anderson, and Agent Urameshi arrived in Costa Verde in an instant thanks to Serenity's amazing abilities. They were standing on a gorgeous beach. The sun was shining brightly, and the salty smell of the sea and the sound of crashing waves filled the air. What a great day for a mission!

"Ok, now what do we do?" Agent Urameshi stupidly asked Serenity. If only she was half as smart as Serenity, maybe she wouldn't ask such dumb questions!

"Obviously, we must find this Tetsuya Matsumoto guy," Agent Smith answered, hoping to impress Serenity.

"Where should we start?" pondered Agent Anderson.

"Hmm…" Serenity was deep in thought. "Where was his last kill?"

"According to the map in the mission specs, about a quarter of a mile South of our current location," replied Agent Smith.

"Alright then, we'll start there," stated Serenity.

The four began walking down the beach. Agent Smith and Agent Anderson were too busy secretly staring at Serenity to make intelligent conversation, and Agent Urameshi could _never _make intelligent conversation, so Serenity quietly thought deep, important thoughts to herself. She often did this, when there was nothing to say, because she carried many burdens on her conscience from her _totally _harsh life, though she always remained cheerful on the outside, even when she happened to be hurting because of her memories.

Soon, they arrived at the scene of the murder. Blood still stained the sand, even though in reality, it would have been cleaned up by now, but this is Serenity's totally awesome story, so who cares?

"Ok, let's find this baka so we can put him away on Level 5," said Serenity. "Urameshi-chan! You go down by the water and look for clues."

"Clues for what? You didn't say, and I'm so much dumber and less pretty than you, so I can't figure it out," replied Agent Urameshi.

"Clues as to where he's going," replied Serenity in an annoyed voice.

"Oh, ok!" cheerfully replied Agent Urameshi. "Whatever you say, Serenity-san!" She walked away and began to diligently search.

"Anderson-kun! You go check over there near that lifeguard station. Smith-kun, you check by the pier. I'll look around here," ordered Serenity.

The two agents did as Serenity said, hoping to find something in order to impress her, because she was so cool.

Serenity began looking around. She crouched down next to the blood-stained sand, then touched it with her bare hands, hoping to get a flash of what happened using her ability to see the history of anything she touched, which she had picked up years ago. (Author's Note: Wow! She must be _really _tough and dedicated to being an agent if she's willing to touch blood! Ew! LOL!) Then she saw it: Matsumoto killing a girl in a Japanese school uniform after materializing out of nowhere; he then headed East into a nearby park. Serenity stood up and pointed East. "He went that way!" she said with a grin.

"Wow! That's amazing, Serenity!" exclaimed everyone.

The four agents began to walk into the park, ready for a fight at any moment. Sure enough, after a few minutes, they found Matsumoto, nonchalantly sitting on a park bench, looking all hawt. Remarkably enough, he was still in the park, even though he killed that chick, like, a day ago, but this is Serenity's world, so it doesn't have to make sense.

Agents Smith, Anderson, and Urameshi drew their guns. Serenity boldly walked towards the dangerous killer.

"Tetsuya Matsumoto!" she loudly exclaimed, pointing her index finger at him.

He glanced up with his _totally _sexy eyes.

"I'm taking you in!" Serenity yelled.

Matsumoto chuckled, then stood up. "You can try," he said in his totally hawt voice, "Or maybe I'll be the one to take you in." He winked at Serenity.

Serenity laughed. "Nope. Don't be a baka. No one's better than me!"

All of a sudden, Matsumoto seemed to disappear. Agents Smith, Anderson, and Urameshi began to nervously look around, but Serenity just stood there, calmly waiting.

Just then, Serenity went flying into a nearby tree trunk- Matsumoto had her pinned against it. They looked deep into each others' eyes.

"He has super speed!" yelled Agent Anderson to the others as he dashed to help Serenity, his Company-issued gun drawn.

Serenity threw Matsumoto back with her telekinesis. He landed on the ground hard. Agent Smith shot at him, but he was too fast for him to hit.

Agent Urameshi gritted her teeth. Not only was she not a good enough shot to shoot him, she didn't have any powers to help stop him! Lame!

Serenity calmly closed her eyes and waited. All of a sudden, she held up her hand- she had managed to catch Matsumoto with her telekinesis as he dashed by! She levitated him into the air, which he seemed strangely unfazed by.

"You did it, Serenity!" loudly exclaimed Agent Urameshi.

"You're the best, Serenity!" beamed Agent Anderson.

Serenity walked over and lightly touched Matsumoto's arm. "I'm going to take him to a cell on Level 5. I'll see you guys later!" She then teleported away with him, leaving the others there in California.

"That's ok!" cheerfully exclaimed Agent Urameshi. "I'll spend my money on a plane ticket back! It's totally fine that someone who is supposed to be my best friend left me here, on the other side of the country, because she's Serenity!"

The three then cheerfully skipped to the airport.

Meanwhile, on Level 5…

Serenity walked Matsumoto into his cell. "You'll be here for a long time," she said with a smile.

"That's fine," he said in a calm voice, "as long as I'm around you."

The two then passionately kissed, because what guy could possibly resist Serenity?

Serenity then sexily walked out and locked Tetsuya in his cell. She then teleported upstairs to the thirteenth floor. When she arrived, she saw Angela in the hall.

"Mission accomplished, Mrs. Petrelli," said Serenity.

"Excellent! I knew I could count on you, Serenity!" replied Angela with a grin.

"Anything else for today?" asked Serenity inquisitively. Isn't it nice how dedicated she is to her job as an agent?

"The only thing left for today is you need to update your list of abilities you've taken on for the Company's database," replied Angela. "After that, you're free to go for the day. And I'm giving you a raise. And another mansion. And a pony."

(Author's Note: Serenity has twelve mansions already, three of which are in Japan!)

"Awesome!" replied Serenity.

She then walked into her office and turned on her brand-new, high-tech supercomputer. She entered her password, ramennoodlesandpocky, which was her favorite meal, and she was in the system.

She began to list her abilities in the database. There was her previously-mentioned flight, psychometry, telekinesis, healing touch, and space-time manipulation, and as this is merely an uncreative literary device to name her abilities, there's no need for a backstory. From some former carnies a few months before, she had picked up replication and the ability to make plants grow. She had gotten enhanced memory from some old lady who was in the hospital in Washington, D.C. back in December 2009. She had two ways to see the future- dreams, which she got from Angela, and painting, which she got during a mission; all of her paintings were anime-style, too! How cool! Also from previous missions, she had poisonous black tears, spontaneous regeneration, induced radioactivity, and adoptive muscle memory. Yeah, she's a badass. A virtual Swiss army knife of superpowers!

Serenity shut down her awesome supercomputer, then teleported back to Virginia. She had done a whole day's work, and it was only 11:00am! No one else could do that!


	3. The Two Girls and Immortality!

Chapter Three: The Two Girls and Immortality!

Serenity decided to spend the rest of the day relaxing in her dorm room. Even though she _totally _had literally _hundreds _of friends, she decided to sit alone up there all day long.

She picked up the textbook for her swordmaking class, and began reading the assigned chapters for Monday. Does college have a swordmaking class? Who cares? LOL! Isn't it great how good a student and smart Serenity is?

Serenity quickly finished reading every word of her assigned chapters. She had been making swords since she was four, even though that would probably qualify as child endangerment, so this class was _so _easy to her.

Just then, Serenity heard a knock on her door.

"I wonder who that can be?" she pondered. "Probably one of my dear friends, who _totally _exist!"

She merrily skipped to the door and opened it. A blonde girl was standing there with an armful of fliers.

"Hi!" said the girl, handing Serenity a flier. "I'm handing these out for a specials awareness rally, even though in reality, these would just be placed under people's doors!"

"Awesome!" replied Serenity. "I'm _really _special, so I'll be there! Are you special too?"

"Yeah!" the girl replied. "I can heal any injury to myself, and I'm basically immortal!"

"Wow! Me too! So cool, desu ne?" responded Serenity. "I can do a _lot _of other stuff, too!"

"Neat!" excitedly replied the girl. "I'm Claire Bennet! You're so cool and pretty!"

"Thanks!" Serenity said. "I'm Serenity Uzumaki."

"Wow! I've heard about you!" exclaimed Claire with an enormous smile.

"Really?" asked Serenity with a look of total surprise. "I don't know what I could have possibly done for anyone to have heard of me." Isn't it great how humble she is? LOL!

"OMG, are you kidding?" asked Claire. "You've only saved the world three times in the past two years! Once even from Adam Monroe, who somehow came back to life for some reason!"

"Cool!" replied Serenity. "I'm about to watch anime and play my brand-new Nintendo 3DS that I bought with the _tons _of money I have! Do you want to join me?"

"Heck yes!" excitedly replied Claire. "I have literally dreamed about this moment my entire life, even though this is _totally _out of character for me!"

Four hours later…

"Wow!" exclaimed Claire. "Anime is _so _good! It is the best thing _ever! _The plots aren't weird or convoluted at all!"

"I know! It's sooo awesome!" replied Serenity to her new best friend Claire.

"And you're so good at Pokemon White, even though you can't beat the fourth gym leader! You're amazing to watch play, and you're cool and beautiful too!"

"Thanks!" responded Serenity.

"So," said Claire, "tell me about yourself. Like, where you're from, and your family and stuff."

"Well," began Serenity, "I was born on Valentine's Day 1992. I never knew my biological father, Samson Gray, or my biological mother, whose name I don't know, because I was given up for adoption. I was raised in Texas by a mean couple who made me do _chores _and other totally boring stuff, and they made my life _completely _miserable. When I was four, I met my master, Ichiro Kurasagi, who was from Japan and taught me to fight and about my ability. He was like my father figure, and totally wasn't a pedophile or insane. He died in an explosion at the ramen factory caused by Knox when I was twelve. A few years later, when I was fourteen, I became the Company's youngest agent ever because of my skills and how special I am. Now that the Company is back, I'm an agent again."

"Wow! Cool!" exclaimed Claire.

"I know, desu ne?" responded Serenity.

The two of them continued to talk for another hour or so bonding over how friggin' awesome Serenity is.

"I love your outfit!" said Claire, observing Serenity's keen fashion sense. She made Claire's tank top and jeans look like total crap by comparison.

"It's super kawaii, isn't it?" asked Serenity.

"Definitely! I don't know what 'kawaii' means, but I agree with you blindly on anything you say!" replied Claire enthusiastically.

"Oh, 'kawaii' is Japanese for 'cute'," replied Serenity matter-of-factly. " I am an expert at speaking Japanese, and I use words I know all of the time in my regular speech, even though most people don't understand what I'm saying half of the time."

"Neat-o! That's _so _cool, even though in reality anyone who did that would be made fun of! Can you teach me to randomly put the handful of Japanese words I know into my everyday speech like a freak in order to convince people I really know Japanese?" said Claire.

"Sure!" replied Serenity. "You should take Japanese class with me!"

"Ok! I'll change my schedule tonight!" said Claire.

"Cool," replied Serenity.

Claire looked at her watch. "Oh my good golly gosh! I'm late for my hair appointment! I have to get my hair done before I speak at the rally tomorrow, and my hair isn't naturally pretty and perfect like yours, so I have to go! I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Ok, bye!" said Serenity as Claire left.

Serenity then sat down on the edge of the bed, barely making even a wrinkle on the black and silver silk sheets. "The specials rally is tomorrow at noon, so I'll meet Claire there. And maybe I'll meet tons of other canon characters too!"


	4. My Eyes! This Burns My Eyes!

**Oh yeah, before I **_**totally **_**forget, I don't own Heroes, even though this statement will in no way protect me from a cease and desist notice or any other kind of legal action! LOL!**

Chapter Four: My Eyes! This Burns My Eyes!

Serenity awoke the next day bright and early so she could go to the specials rally in D.C.; it was going to be so awesome!

She got up and looked in the mirror. As always, her hair was perfect.

"Hmm…" Serenity thought to herself. "I wonder what I should wear today?" She walked over to her gigantic walk-in closet and opened the door. It was so friggin' big, it looked like a clothing store or something! She walked up and down the aisles of beautiful, expensive clothes until she found something to wear: tight black pants; three black, studded belts; black, high-heeled boots; a pretty white button-up short sleeved shirt; and a thin, black trench coat type thing that came to her knees and she left open. She also grabbed a silver necklace with a strange symbol on it (Author's Note: It's the Symbol, Godsend, RNA Symbol, whatever you want to call it! Super cool and original, huh?) and a bracelet covered in real sapphires, then walked out of the closet.

She got dressed, left her totally awesome room, and walked downstairs and out the front door of the dorm. She walked across the campus green to enjoy meditating in front of the gorgeous marble fountain that was there for a few minutes before she left for D.C. She had learned all about meditation from her master many years ago. She used it to clear her mind of all of her painful memories, and to focus her powers.

After she finished meditating, she stood up and began levitating in the air. No one was ever on campus on Sundays, so she could do this without any concern for revealing her abilities, even though everyone would only love her even more for it. She just didn't want the attention, because she's so humble and noble and awesome. She then zoomed straight up into the sky, her coat billowing out behind her like a cape!

She flew over Arlington, enjoying the bird's-eye view of the region that so few other people in the world ever experienced. She flew over the Potomac, then began to descend. She rapidly spun like a drill as she divebombed towards the Earth! It looked _so _cool! Just before she reached the ground, she immediately slowed down, flipped into a standing position, and gracefully landed on her feet. All of the people on the street applauded her amazing landing!

"Thanks guys!" said Serenity as she walked towards the National Mall, which was the location of the rally.

She walked down Connecticut Avenue, enjoying the sights of all of the historic buildings. All of the people she saw on the street waved to her and told her how pretty she was, too! How cool!

All of a sudden, she saw a mugger with a knife dash out of an alley and steal a woman's purse! Thank goodness Serenity was there! She showed that mugger who was boss, and she didn't even have to use her powers to do it! She handed the woman's purse back to her.

"Thank you so much!" cried the grateful woman.

"No problem!" said Serenity as she continued walking.

After awhile, she arrived at the National Mall. She couldn't believe how many people showed up! She saw a _lot _of people who apparently went to Arlington University, too, based on their school shirts and other stuff, which was surprising, considering Claire didn't finish handing out her fliers the previous day and instead watched anime with Serenity.

Serenity began looking around for Claire. Sure enough, after a minute or two, she found her conversing with a group of about five other people. She began to walk towards her.

Claire caught a glimpse of Serenity out of the corner of her eye. She excitedly turned around and waved. "Serenity!" she called out with an enormous smile. "Over here!"

Serenity walked over. All of the people Claire was talking to smiled at her.

"I'm super glad you could make it!" Claire cheerfully said. She then turned around. "Everyone," she said, addressing the people she had been talking to, "This is my _best _friend _ever _that I was telling you about, Serenity!"

"Wow! It's so great to meet you, Serenity! Claire has said so much about you! You're so cool and beautiful!" exclaimed the group of people Claire had been talking to.

"Hi!" said Serenity.

"Let me introduce you to everyone!" happily said Claire.

"This is West," she said, gesturing to a tall guy with brown eyes and hair. "He used to be my boyfriend, but we broke up, which, if I was in character, or even acting normal at all, I wouldn't mention in front of so many people."

She pointed to well-dressed woman in her thirties. "This is Tracy. She runs a sort of halfway house for people like us who can't handle their abilities. You're awesome though, so you'd never have been to a place like that!"

"And these other three people aren't canon characters, so whatever," said Claire.

"It's nice to meet all of you," said Serenity.

"Ok, I have to go get ready to speak when the rally starts in ten minutes. I'll see all of you later!" said Claire as she walked in the general direction of the podium on the steps of the Lincoln Memorial.

"So," West addressed Serenity, "you go to college with Claire? That's cool."

"Yeah," said Serenity. "My GPA is over 4.0, and professors often ask me to help teach the class and to help them with their research."

"Cool!" said West. "I think I'm going to transfer from NYU to Arlington, so I can be around you more often!" West was _totally _in love with Serenity.

"Ok!" replied Serenity.

"So, what is your ability?" asked Tracy.

"I have the ability to see how things work," replied Serenity. "What makes them 'tick'. This allows me to do a _lot _of different, totally awesome things, including absorbing others' abilities."

"Wow! That's great, Serenity!" happily exclaimed everyone.

"Hey guys! I think the rally is starting, and Claire is about to speak!" said one of the unimportant, non-canon characters that was with them.

Once everyone in the crowd of thousands was done staring at how beautiful Serenity was, the rally began. Claire approached the podium, the gentle breeze blowing her hair. She would have looked very pretty, had Serenity not been within a ten mile radius, as that made _everyone _ugly-looking by comparison.

"As all of you know," began Claire, "nearly two years ago, I jumped off of a Ferris wheel in front of some news cameras at a carnival at Central Park in New York, revealing the existence of people with abilities to the entire world. At first, we were all afraid of what this 'brave new world' would look like- so far, I am happy to say that there have been no riots, prejudice, or anything of that nature, possibly because the author of this _totally _awesome story thinks abilities are super cool and, therefore, everyone on the planet thinks like them. But, I digress- we have made enormous progress over the past two years. In the coming weeks, months, years, and decades, we must all work together to…" Claire trailed off.

"What's wrong?" pondered West.

As it turns out, as she was walking up to the podium, the breeze had blown away the rest of the pages of Claire's speech! Oh no!

Serenity had to think fast to save this rally!

She quickly created a few replicas of herself and sent them to find the pages of Claire's speech. That handled that, but she still had to buy Claire some time. She thought for a second, then had a great idea!

Even though she could've just frozen time and not made herself the center of attention, Serenity walked up to the stage. "I'm here to help," she whispered to Claire. "I sent some replicas of myself to get the pages that blew away. I'm going to buy you some time until then."

Claire nodded. "Um, real quick, here's the coolest person ever, Serenity Uzumaki!" she exclaimed to the crowd as she turned the microphone over to Serenity. The crowd cheered louder than anyone had ever heard in the history of the world!

"Thanks Claire!" said Serenity into the microphone. "Hi everyone! I'm Serenity Uzumaki, a student at Arlington University! And I, like some of you, am special." (Author's Note: Haha! She's so humble! She's not like them! She's, like, a _million _times more special!)

"She's right!" continued Serenity. "We have come far over the past few years! You know, that makes me think of a song I wrote many years ago as I sat by a lake at midnight under the light of the full moon… Do you all want to hear it?"

"YES! Oh my gosh, YES!" excitedly and desperately cried the crowd. "It will be the best thing ever, because you are so awesome, Serenity!"

"Ok," replied Serenity. "Here it is, one of the many songs I have written in my lifetime. It's called 'Ninja Vampire'."

All of a sudden, the music to this song that had never been performed before in history started playing out of speakers that had been there the whole time, and Serenity began to sing. Everyone was completely entranced by her beautiful singing voice. No one could even think of anything else. All over, people stopped their cars in the middle of the road to listen. Dogs stopped chasing cats, and birds stopped paying attention to where they were going and flew into buildings.

After a few minutes, the song was over, and Serenity's replicas were secretly handing Claire the lost pages of her speech. A lone tear drop fell from Serenity's eyes, because she was so passionate. Then, the whole city erupted in the biggest applause ever! "Serenity! Serenity!" they loudly chanted! It was so awesome!

"Thank you!" said Serenity to the crowd as she handed the microphone back to Claire and left the stage. She walked back to where West and Tracy were standing.

"Wow! That was awesome, Serenity! It was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard!" exclaimed Tracy with an enormous grin.

"You're so cool and talented!" said West.

"Thanks!" said Serenity.

Twenty minutes later, Claire finished her speech. Everyone applauded, though not as loud as they had for Serenity. She walked down from the podium and over towards Serenity.

"Thank you so much!" said Claire. "I don't know what I would have done without you here, Serenity!"

"No problem!" replied Serenity.

After all of them had hung out in D.C. for a few more hours, Serenity teleported back to her dorm room. What a great day it had been!


	5. Sueroes

Chapter Five: Sueroes

Serenity awoke earlier than usual on Saturday morning. It had been nearly a whole week since the specials rally that her quick thinking had saved from being totally lame. The past week had been relatively average by Serenity's standards- she had made an A++++ on the tests in her Japanese and swordmaking classes, she had drawn a new masterpiece in her art course, her adoptive father called her just to yell at her, West had transferred to Arlington from NYU and she had been showing him around, she had been called into the Company twice to take down two extremely dangerous individuals, and she had had about five hundred guys hit on her. Yep, it had been a pretty normal week.

Since she had woken up so early, Serenity had an extra hour until she had to go into work. She decided to practice her martial arts for awhile in her free time. Serenity was an expert in all martial arts, and was a black belt in everything. She had been practicing for fifteen years, starting back when she met her master. In addition, while on a mission four years ago, she picked up the ability to mimic any physical skill she saw, which made martial arts even easier for her! How cool!

She watched some videos on the internet- mostly parkour and jiu jitsu- before she got dressed and headed out to try it, thanks to her adoptive muscle memory. Today, she decided to wear a low-cut red shirt with black lace things across the opening, her godsend symbol necklace, her favorite black lace-up combat boots, a short black and charcoal gray skirt, a red belt draped over her hips, and these _super _cool things on her arms. (Author's Note: on her arms, she's wearing the same things as Yuna from Final Fantasy X, but hers are white and red instead of white and purple. I still think it's _so _awesome I can just make an author's note instead of describing it with real words. Can you imagine if this kind of crap was breaking up the action in real books? LOL!)

She walked outside in her super kawaii outfit, then began running in order to test out her parkour skills. She did a flip over a park bench, then leaped up a tree. She then hopped from tree to tree, until she was next to a parking deck. She backflipped into it, then ran and jumped down the hole in the middle of the spiral ramp! She gracefully landed at the bottom on her feet like a cat.

"Not bad," Serenity said to herself. She then flew straight up into the air, out of the parking deck, and towards New York!

After about five minutes of flying, she saw a small plane. Something seemed… peculiar about it, though. Then what it was hit Serenity- it was out of fuel! The people inside were in danger! She could see the scared faces of the people inside, and she knew she had to help! She stopped moving, then grabbed the plane with her telekinesis!

Inside the plane…

"Something's happening!" said the pilot to ground control. "We… We're stabilizing, and we seem to be being… _guided _to the runway at an airstrip below us. It's a miracle!"

As soon as the plane and its passengers were safe on the ground, Serenity continued flying to work. It was a good thing she had been there! A few minutes later, Serenity arrived at the Company. She walked in the front door. Thankfully, Dave wasn't there today. Instead, Deborah was the security guard on duty today.

"Good morning, Serenity! How are you today?" ecstatically asked Deborah. Like everyone else, she thought Serenity was amazing.

"I'm good," replied Serenity.

"That's great! One sec and I'll sign you in!"

After she was signed in, Serenity entered the elevator and headed to the thirteenth floor. When it arrived, she entered the hall and walked towards her office. She walked in, closed her door, and sat at her desk. There were a few forms sitting there for her to fill out, which she did quickly. She then decided to go down to Level 5 until it was time for her mission, which, according to a message she had received, she would leave for at 11:00am. She closed her eyes and teleported to Level 5.

Level 5 is where the Company kept the most dangerous individuals with abilities. Many of them had killed numerous people, some had incredibly unstable abilities, some were psychopaths, and others fell into more than one of those categories. Serenity was always strangely calm while there.

"Hey there baby," said an old, nasty guy in one of the cells to Serenity. "You come to pay ol' James a lil' visit?"

"Screw you," calmly said Serenity without looking at him as she walked by. That was always the only thing that bothered her about being down here was when the ugly looking, old guys would hit on her.

She walked further down the row of cells, until she reached Tetsuya Matsumoto's, the guy she had taken in a week ago.

"Hey," he said nonchalantly, though Serenity could see in his deep violet eyes that those words had more meaning.

"Hi," replied Serenity, blushing only ever so slightly.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked. "Most agents avoid coming down here if they don't have to."

"I'm not sure," replied Serenity. "I guess I just like it down here."

Matsumoto didn't reply. Serenity could tell that he was thinking about her, though.

"I have to prepare for my mission, but I may come back down here later on, when I'm done," said Serenity.

"I'll look forward to it," replied Matsumoto with a _totally _hawt grin.

Serenity teleported back into her office. Just then, the phone on her desk began to ring. She picked it up.

"Hello?" she professionally asked the person on the other end of the line.

"Hello, Agent Uzumaki." It was Angela. "We'll be briefing you on your mission for today in my office in thirty minutes."

"Ok," replied Serenity. "I'll be there." She then hung up.

Thirty minutes later…

Serenity walked down the hall towards Angela's office. Mission briefings were rarely ever in her office, so this one must be more important than usual. It made sense, then, that Serenity would be assigned to it. She entered the open office door. Angela was sitting at her desk.

"Hello, Mrs. Petrelli," said Serenity.

"Oh, Serenity! It's so good to see you!" happily said Angela with a smile. "I saw you on the news the other day, singing during the specials rally! You are so talented and amazing!"

"Thanks," said Serenity. "So, what's my mission?"

"Oh yes," said Angela. She had been distracted by the thought of Serenity's amazing singing voice. It was just extraordinary, in her opinion, how good Serenity was at _everything! _"We have discovered a compound outside of Sparta, New Jersey, about fifty miles North of Philadelphia. We're not sure exactly what's there, but we know it has something to do with a small group of dangerous individuals doing research into people with abilities. It's your job to go with Agent Urameshi and Agent O'Donnell to take all of the data in the compound, bag and tag anyone present there, then destroy the premises."

Wow! That's a very difficult mission! No wonder it was assigned to Serenity!

"No problem!" exclaimed Serenity. "I can handle it!"

"I know you can," happily replied Angela. "You're my best agent, after all!" Angela then suddenly remembered something. "Oh, I almost forgot," she began, "something of this caliber would not normally be a training mission, especially in reality, but, this being your super cool story, it doesn't matter. I am sending a new agent with your team. His ability should prove quite useful in taking in any individuals who may be there. Just show him the ropes."

"Ok, can do!" replied Serenity.

"Excellent! I knew I could count on you!" said Angela with an enormous smile. "Agent Doyle? Could you come in here?"

A fat, bald guy with blue eyes entered the room. He looked quite nervous, and kind of sweaty. "Yes, Mrs. Petrelli?" he asked.

"This is Agent Uzumaki," said Angela, introducing Serenity. "You will be accompanying her on her mission today. You are to do everything she says."

"Yes, Mrs. Petrelli," replied Agent Doyle.

"Alright," said Serenity. "Let's go. Agent Urameshi and Agent O'Donnell are waiting in the garage where we keep the vans and other vehicles." She and Doyle then headed that way.

"So," said Serenity as they were walking towards the garage. "What can you do?"

"I'm a puppeteer," replied Doyle.

Serenity was slightly confused, and an anime sweat drop appeared on the back of her head.

"I can control people's and other things' motor functions with my own motions," nervously clarified Doyle.

"Oh. I see," replied Serenity. That was cool, but not as cool as Serenity's powers.

"Yeah. At first I was evil, then I was good, then I joined a cult/Carnival and was evil again, and now I'm good again," said Doyle.

They arrived at the garage. Agent Urameshi and Agent O'Donnell were standing next to a van that Agent Smith and Agent Anderson were loading with the equipment that would be needed.

"Hey Serenity-san!" happily exclaimed Agent Urameshi. "I missed you! I haven't seen you all week!"

"Yeah, sorry about that," said Serenity. "I've been very busy."

"Smith and Anderson are loading up the van for us and setting up the special equipment we need to extract the data from the compound's computer system. The physical records, though, we'll have to carry out ourselves," said Agent O'Donnell. He was in his early twenties, had dark brown hair, and blue eyes. He had the ability to make things explode by pointing at them, which somehow sped up their particles.

"Ok. Thanks guys," said Serenity to Agents Smith and Anderson.

"No problem!" happily exclaimed Agent Smith.

"We'd do anything for you, Serenity," said Agent Anderson.

"Oh yeah," said Serenity. "I almost forgot. Guys, this is Eric Doyle. He's a new agent, and was assigned to our mission."

"Nice to meet you," said Agent Urameshi. "I'm Terra Urameshi!"

"Ok, you're all set," said Agent Anderson to Serenity. He then turned to Agent Smith. "We have to go, too. We have a mission in New Hampshire we have to leave for in an hour." He turned back to Serenity. "If we all finish up in time, we should hang out for awhile!" Agent Anderson loved spending time with Serenity, but then again, who doesn't?

"Sure," said Serenity.

Agent Smith and Agent Anderson left, then Serenity, Terra, Doyle, and O'Donnell got in the van. O'Donnell was driving, Serenity was in the passenger seat, and Terra and Doyle had to sit in the floor in the back. Agent O'Donnell started the engine, and they were off!

A few hours later…

"We're a mile away," calmly said Agent O'Donnell as he parked the van.

"Ok," said Serenity. "First, we need to set up the antenna to beam the data to the computers in this van. Then, I'll teleport us to the compound."

Doyle and O'Donnell set up the antenna under Serenity's guidance. It's a good thing she knew so much about computers and electronics and stuff! They all then joined hands, and Serenity teleported them to the compound.

It was a large, gray, concrete building in the middle of nowhere with giant steel, bolted doors on the outside, and no windows.

Terra tried to open the door, but it was locked. "How are we going to get in?" she whispered.

"I'll handle it," calmly said Serenity. Instead of just teleporting them _inside _the building, Serenity braced herself, then began using her telekinesis to try and rip the door off! (Author's Note: It looks _exactly _like how Peter ripped off the door of the Company's vault at Primatech Paper in Odessa at the end of season two! Sooo cool and original, amiright?) Serenity put all of her might into opening that door! Her nose started bleeding a little, but only a little, 'cuz she's so awesome. Then, _SNAP! _The door flew off its hinges! Serenity wiped the blood from her nose.

"Wow! You're amazing, Serenity! We couldn't have gotten in without you!" exclaimed everyone

The four slowly entered the building, looking around, just in case anyone was there. Everyone had their guns drawn except Serenity, who didn't have or need a gun. They saw numerous boxes filled with files, tapes, hard drives, etc, just sitting around for some reason. Serenity created five replicas, which began grabbing all of this stuff.

"Terra! You go with my replicas and take this stuff to the van! The rest of us will look for more stuff, as well as their computer!" ordered Serenity.

Terra did as she was told.

After a few more minutes of searching, Serenity opened a door. "I think I found it!" she said to O'Donnell and Doyle. Both ran over to where she was.

"Great job, Serenity!" said O'Donnell with a grin.

"Doyle! You stand guard while we extract the data from their system and gather up the rest of these files and stuff that is just randomly sitting around in here!" ordered Serenity. She is such a good agent, and good at managing missions!

Doyle did as he was told, while O'Donnell began gathering the boxes of files and stuff in the room.

Serenity started the supercomputer up. The words "ENTER PASSWORD" flashed across the screen.

"They think that'll keep me out?" Serenity laughed. "I'm an expert computer hacker!" She used her amazing hacking skills to get into the system. Coincidentally enough, it looked _just like _hacking in the ".Hack/" series! Code and back doors and real hacking stuff? What's that? Who the heck cares? LOL! It's Serenity; she's awesome!

Just as Serenity began transmitting the data, she and Agent O'Donnell heard Doyle yell. He came flying through the door, and landed hard on the floor!

"I… I'm sorry, Serenity! I tried to stop him!" said Doyle, barely conscious.

Serenity glanced at the computer; the data transmission was 25% complete. Just then, a blonde man with pale skin and blue eyes wearing a lab coat walked in.

"Intruders," said the man. "This will never do." He grabbed Agent O'Donnell, and, before he had a chance to react, threw him out the door with an enormous force! He obviously had super strength. Agent O'Donnell hit the wall outside and slumped to the ground.

"Who are you? What do you want?" asked Serenity as she stood her ground against this super-strong guy.

"I could ask you the same question," said the guy. "Intruding in our compound? Attempting to steal our files? How dare you. If you weren't so incredibly pretty and attractive, you'd be just like your friends there." He gestured to Doyle and O'Donnell.

Serenity didn't say a word, and merely glared.

"Oh, so it's a fight you want?" asked the man. "Very well then. Face my power!" He ran at Serenity, and swung his fist at her gorgeous face!

Serenity caught his fist in her left hand, and, using her right hand, punched the guy, using her telekinesis to amplify the force of her fist and sending the guy into the wall. She then jumped into the air and did a super-cool spinning kick towards him! He dodged and, before she landed on the ground, grabbed her ankle. He began spinning around, then hurled Serenity towards the wall! She used her quick reflexes to aim her feet towards the wall and catch herself. If this was in slo-mo, it would look so _awesome. _(Author's Note: It's just like the fight scene between Tifa and Loz from Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children! I'm so creative and original!) She then kicked off of the wall and, using her ability to fly to increase her speed, rocketed towards him, hitting him hard and sending him to the ground. She then pulled out a syringe she had had in her pocket the whole time and tranquilized him. He then passed out.

Serenity made sure Doyle and O'Donnell were ok, which they were, thanks to her, then checked on the computer. The data had been transmitted!

"Doyle," she said as Doyle got up. "Drag this guy to the van. I'll make some more replicas to carry these boxes. The data has transmitted to our computer, so all that's left is for me and Agent O'Donnell to destroy this compound."

Doyle did as he was told as Serenity's replicas took away the files. Serenity helped Agent O'Donnell up.

"Let's blow this place to the netherworld," said Agent O'Donnell. He and Serenity left the building. He gestured toward it with his hand, and, using his ability, caused a huge chunk of the wall to blow up!

Serenity's hands began to glow, and she walked towards the building. She created several small nuclear explosions to demolish it! Is that safe? Who cares? LOL!

In this manner, they were done tearing down that building in no time!

"Good job, Serenity," said Agent O'Donnell. "Now, let's get back to the van. The others are waiting."

Serenity nodded, then touched his arm as they teleported back. They finished loading all of the boxes of files and stuff into the van, put the guy they had bagged in, made sure the transmitted data was ok, then the four got in and began to drive back to the Company building in New York. The guy was still tranquilized with enough stuff to keep an elephant down, but Doyle was holding him with his ability, just in case, under Serenity's orders.

A few hours later, they arrived at the Company and put the guy on Level 5. They turned the data and files over to Company researchers to go over.

"Good job, Agent Uzumaki!" cheerfully said Angela to Serenity. "You really are the best agent ever!"

**Ok, serious update for a second, even though I absolutely hate these. This was a very long chapter. It took me a bit to write, mostly because after chapters 3 and 4, I was sick of typing the word "Serenity". I already have the whole story planned out, as well as every chapter titled. The whole thing will be twenty-six chapters divided into two volumes (it'll still be the same story though). I'm going to try to update at least every two weeks, but I actually have a life, so we'll see. As you can tell, I strongly dislike Mary Sues; more Sues will be introduced in a few chapters. I also plan on making fun of some of the stupid stuff people put in fan fiction. Next time I'll be making fun of "yaoi" stuff. Seriously, y'all, no two straight dudes are going to "do it". Especially not canon characters; it's completely out of character. Also, as you may have noticed, Volume One is more of an attack on Suethors and their individual Sues, with the inconsistent descriptiveness, simplistic writing style, etc. Volume Two will focus more exclusively on criticisms of Sues, especially near the end. I hope you can all get the jokes, because I'm not going to use one of these things I'm typing now to explain them like other people who write things like this do.**


	6. A Disgusting and Present Danger

Chapter Six: A Disgusting and Present Danger

Serenity walked down to Level 5 to see Tetsuya. She had just gotten a text from Agent Anderson that he and Smith would be back by 8:00pm, and since it was only 6:00pm, she would have plenty of time to both talk to Tetsuya and hang out with everyone else. She loved how everything in her life just seemed to work out perfectly like that!

Once she arrived on level 5, she immediately headed for Tetsuya's cell. He was standing next to the window, as if he had been waiting for her.

"Hey," he said in his _totally _hawt voice. "How'd your mission go? I saw them dragging some unconscious guy down the hall a few minutes ago. I guess they were locking him up. You do that?"

"Yep," responded Serenity. "Bagged him in New Jersey."

"Wow. You're a really good agent," he replied.

"Thanks," said Serenity. "You know, you could maybe become an agent too…"

"I doubt it," responded Tetsuya. "I've killed too many people. Besides, I doubt they'd trust a speedster too much." He chuckled slightly at his statement.

"I'll put in a good word for you with Mrs. Petrelli, if you want. Because, if you become an agent, we'll get to see each other more often."

"Hmm…" Tetsuya was deep in thought. "Well… If it means I'll get to spend more time with you, then I guess I can change my ways, even though I've killed dozens, which would be completely unforgivable in real life. Ok! I'll do it! If they offer to let me become an agent, I will!"

"That's great!" said Serenity. "This will be so cool to have even more guys with long hair and weird-colored eyes to hang out with, desu ne?"

The two talked some more, until it was time for Serenity to go.

"I hate to leave," she said, "but I promised some friends we'd hang out. Maybe, when you're out of here, you can join us sometimes."

"I look forward to it," he replied with a grin.

Serenity teleported to the front of the building to wait for Agents Smith and Anderson to pick her up. Terra was already waiting outside.

"Hey Serenity-san! Where have you been?" inquisitively asked Terra. She was always so worried when her best friend Serenity wasn't around!

"I was talking to Tetsuya Matsumoto, the guy we bagged and tagged a week ago, on Level 5," said Serenity. "I'm going to put in a good word for him, and he's going to try to become an agent."

"Wow! That's great!" replied Terra. "He's _super _hawt! I would love to see him and another heterosexual male sensitively do it!"

"Me too," said Serenity. In her opinion, yaoi stuff was, like, the _hottest _thing ever!

Agent Anderson walked up and tapped Terra on the shoulder. He and Agent Smith had heard their entire conversation.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Terra screamed at the top of her lungs as she jumped like, a _million _feet in the air! "Seto-san! Don't scare me like that!" she yelled at him.

"Sorry," he laughed. "I couldn't resist; you're such an easy target, Terra."

Serenity laughed. This was sooo funny, because this is how she assumed… er, _knew _how friends interacted, because she _totally _had friends and drew from those experiences.

"C'mon. Let's go," said Agent Smith. "We can hang out at my place."

"Ok, cool," said Serenity. She teleported everyone to Smith's apartment in Manhattan.

The four arrived in the blink of an eye! Agent Smith had a really spacious, luxurious apartment, but it wasn't as nice as Serenity's dorm room or any of her thirteen mansions.

"You want anything to drink?" asked Agent Smith, walking to the kitchen.

"Sure," replied Serenity. "If you have any imported beverages from Japan, I'll take that."

"I do, actually," replied Smith as he handed her whatever the hell she had asked for. He had spent $150 just to import this garbage just for Serenity, because he loved her so much!

"I would ask if you had any food in here, but you can't cook, and neither can Seto!" said Terra half-jokingly with a smile. Everyone knew neither Seto nor Smith could cook. In fact, the only one in the whole room who could cook was Serenity; she is an _expert _at cooking, and had actually written three books of recipes! In fact, many places tried to hire her as a chef, but she just loved her job at the Company so much that she wouldn't do it.

The four of them spent the evening hanging out, just doing stuff that normal, cool people do, such as talking about anime, playing Dungeons and Dragons, talking about how cool and beautiful Serenity was, and having Serenity sing to them with her absolutely amazing voice.

A little after midnight, Serenity got up. "It's been fun, everyone, but I really must be going," she said.

"Aw!" disappointedly cried everyone. It was so _lame _that Serenity had to leave!

"Can you drop me off at my apartment outside of the community college I go to, Serenity-san?" asked Terra. She went to a community college near Arlington, because she wanted to be near Serenity, but wasn't smart enough to be admitted to Arlington University.

"Sure," replied Serenity. She turned to Agent Smith and Agent Anderson. "I'll see you guys later!"

"Bye, Serenity! We'll miss you!" they both replied.

Serenity grabbed Terra's arm, and the two teleported away, leaving Seto and Agent Smith there.

"Serenity really is awesome, isn't she?" asked Seto.

"Definitely," replied Agent Smith. "If only she felt the same way about us as we do about her. But she has a bazillion guys she could choose from!" He sighed wearily.

"You heard what she and Terra were saying earlier, didn't you, Kal?" Seto asked Agent Smith.

"Yeah… I did…" replied Kal.

Meanwhile, at Terra's crappy apartment in the ghetto…

Serenity and Terra arrived in an instant thanks to Serenity's abilities.

"Thanks, Serenity-san!" happily exclaimed Terra. "We should all get together and play Dungeons and Dragons and eat pocky and talk about anime again soon!"

"Yeah!" replied Serenity happily. "That was fun!" Isn't it great how much Serenity dearly loves her friends, even though she's already disregarded them like, five times in this story already?

Terra walked into her ghetto-ass apartment and closed the door that was on the verge of falling off of the hinges as Serenity teleported back to her dorm room.

She locked her door, changed into her frilly, lacy, pretty white nightgown, and got into her bed, letting her soft silver and black sheets cover her. It had been yet another awesome day!

That night, Serenity had a dream. Seto and Kal were sitting at Kal's apartment.

"Serenity really is awesome, isn't she?" asked Seto.

"Definitely," replied Agent Smith. "If only she felt the same way about us as we do about her. But she has a bazillion guys she could choose from!" He sighed wearily.

"You heard what she and Terra were saying earlier, didn't you, Kal?" Seto asked Agent Smith.

"Yeah… I did…" replied Kal.

"What do you say… we do something about that?"

Both of them got up and walked into the kitchen.

All of a sudden, a flash- it was a new part of the dream.

"The camera's on," said Seto from the other room.

Another flash. Serenity couldn't see anything, but it sounded like… moaning.

Serenity jolted awake the next morning. Her dreams were usually prophetic, so… did Seto and Kal… make her a yaoi tape? Wow! That was so super kawaii, and not gross at all!

Just then, Serenity's phone began to ring. Her ringtone was "One-Winged Angel", the theme song from Final Fantasy VII! She picked up the phone. "Hello?" she said.

"Agent Uzumaki," said the person on the other end of the line- it was Angela. "We have a situation. We need you to come in immediately."

"Ok!" exclaimed Serenity. "I'll be there in a heartbeat!" She literally meant that, too- she closed her eyes and teleported to the Company before she even finished hanging up. She was now standing next to Angela on Level 5, fully dressed. "What's going on?" she asked, ready to fix whatever the problem was.

"The man you brought in yesterday is dead," she replied grimly as she gestured to his cell. "We need your skills in order to find out what happened. I have Agents Anderson and Smith analyzing security footage of the entire building. After your investigation, you are to work with them."

"No problem!" replied Serenity.

"Excellent. I can always count on you, Serenity," said Angela with a slight grin. She then walked off.

Serenity walked into the nameless guy's cell. His body was still lying there; thankfully, no bakas had touched anything, which would slightly impede her investigation. Angela obviously made sure Serenity was the first one in, because she was the only way this case could be solved!

She crouched down and observed the body. There did not appear to be any sign of trauma or cuts or anything. In fact, Serenity didn't even see any blood! Weird, huh? Does this sound mysterious yet?

Serenity touched the body, hoping to get a flash of what happened using her psychometric touch. She saw him standing in his cell, not really doing anything. Then, all of a sudden, his eyes widened, and he fell to the ground dead! Oooh! Spooky!

Serenity teleported to Angela's office and told her what she saw. Angela ordered the body autopsied, then Serenity teleported to the room where Seto and Kal were reviewing the security tapes.

"Hey guys," cheerfully said Serenity.

"Hey," they both replied with a smile. They were obviously hiding something.

"So, what's up?" she asked in an attempt to prod them about what they were doing after she left the previous night.

"Not much," replied Kal.

"Same here," replied Seto. "We both got called in awhile back to start reviewing twelve hours of tape. So, did you investigate our super-strong friend's untimely death?"

"Yeah," replied Serenity. "He just dropped dead in his cell, no injuries or signs of trauma. We may be looking for an invisible man or something like that."

"Hmm, alright. That complicates things a bit then,' replied Kal.

"Oh yeah, before I forget," began Seto, "we have a gift for you after we finish up here. We worked all last night on it."

"Ok, cool. Thanks," said Serenity nonchalantly. Oh boy! She was _so _excited about this yaoi crap that _totally _isn't gross and causes _so _many characters in _so _many stories to be completely out of character!

The three reviewed security tapes for at least four hours.

"I don't see anything here," complained Seto.

"Hmm… Me neither," said Serenity, who was using how freakin' smart she was to solve this mystery. "The only possibility I can think of is… Wait. No. It _can't _be that simple…"

"What?" enthusiastically asked Kal and Seto. Serenity _obviously _had the answer, because she was never wrong!

"Well, as odd as it may seem, it looks like-"

Just then, Serenity's phone rang. It was Angela. She answered it. "Hello, Mrs. Petrelli. I think I may have just solved this mystery. Did the autopsy reveal that he had a heart attack?"

"Why, yes," responded Angela. "They just determined that. He apparently had a bad heart, even though he was quite young, as _totally _unlikely as that seems, but this whole thing _sure _was mysterious, huh?"

Serenity hung up. "I was right, as usual. He had a heart attack. No invisible men or anything related to abilities; just a bad heart."

"Wow! You're incredible, Serenity!" the two replied.

"Oh yeah!" said Kal all of a sudden. "Your present we made you!" He handed Serenity a box in black and silver wrapping paper, which they knew were her favorite colors. "Don't open it 'til you get back to your dorm."

"Wow, thanks guys," replied Serenity. She teleported back to Arlington University ASAP and unwrapped the box excitedly. She couldn't wait to watch her two straight male friends get it on! She opened the box, and inside was… a cake. There was a DVD and a note next to it. Serenity read the note out loud:

"_Dear Serenity, _

_You and Terra said we couldn't cook last night. While we _definitely _can't cook anywhere nearly as good as you (who can?), we decided to prove to you how your awesomeness has rubbed off on us over the years we've known you. We used the recipe in one of the cookbooks you wrote in order to bake this cake, and filmed us baking it to prove we made it and to show to you how much we care about you, because you are so special. Kal accidentally cut himself, so he moans and whines for a few minutes on the video, but we got it done. It's not as good as if you had made it, but we hope you enjoy it. Love, Kal and Seto._

Serenity was slightly disappointed that it wasn't a yaoi video of her two straight friends doing it, but she was still deeply touched by how much everyone cared about her. She cut a slice of cake and watched the DVD as she relaxed in the hot tub that she had in her dorm room for some reason. What a totally awesome day! Isn't it great how everything always works out perfectly for Serenity?


	7. A New Revelation

Chapter Seven: A New Revelation

Serenity woke up at 7:00am on Monday morning. She had her first class of the day, art, at 9:00am, so she had some time to relax and have fun before she got ready. She got herself another slice of the cake Seto and Kal had made her, turned on the tv, and found some anime to watch.

After an hour, Serenity got up and went to her ginormous closet to pick out an outfit for the day. She decided to wear an elegant white and red silk kimono. The pattern was so pretty, it is beyond description! It totally isn't because I don't possess the linguistic skills to describe it!

She left her dorm and headed towards the building her art class was in. They only let the very best artists into this class. Serenity was an expert artist, even though she only drew anime and manga stuff, and the professor had actually had to come to her to convince her to take this class! Even though anime and manga would never be acceptable in an art course in reality! How neat!

Serenity gracefully walked across the campus green. Everyone turned at looked at her as she walked by, because of her extraordinary beauty, of course, and not because she was wearing something no one alive today would be caught wearing in public. Serenity had an _excellent _fashion sense, and everyone was always asking for her advice on matters of fashion.

She entered the building, and walked up to the second floor, where her class was. She entered the room and sat down. As usual, she was the first one there.

After a few minutes, other students, including West, entered the room. It wasn't weird at all how everyone else came in at once.

"Hey," West cheerfully greeted Serenity as he sat down next to her. After transferring, he had made his schedule match Serenity's perfectly, even though he had no interest whatsoever in the subjects, because he was _totally _in love with her and wanted to spend time with her.

"Hi," replied Serenity.

"Did you have a fun weekend?" he asked enthusiastically.

"Yep," replied Serenity. "I took down some bad guys' compound and spent time with some of my friends."

"Cool!" replied West.

At that moment, the professor walked in.

"Good morning, class," stated the professor. "Especially you, Serenity," he added with a smile. "Today, your assignment is to paint a pretty picture, even though this is not how a real college art class works. You may begin."

While other students were struggling with their paintings, Serenity had already completed three, each of them a masterpiece, and was thinking up a fourth one to do.

"I know!" stated Serenity. "I'll use my ability to paint the future for some reason!" She closed her eyes and cleared her mind. All of a sudden, she opened her eyes again rapidly; they were completely white! She began to paint, her face and eyes never losing the super-intense look they had.

About ten minutes later, even though it takes significantly longer than that to do a painting in real life, Serenity had finished her prophetic portrait. She closed her eyes, and, upon opening them, they had returned to normal. She observed what she had painted as West looked over her shoulder.

"Wow! That's amazing, just like your other paintings, Serenity!" cheerfully complimented West.

"Thanks!" replied Serenity as she observed the painting. It portrayed some evil-looking dude Serenity had never seen before standing in the shadows behind what appeared to be her as a baby. In the lower right corner, she saw an old man with an oxygen tank who she recognized as her biological father, Samson Gray, from a picture she had seen once. What could it mean?

"So, is this one of those paintings you do that tells the future that you told me about?" inquisitively asked West. He thought it was _so _cool how many powers Serenity had!

"Yeah," replied Serenity. "I guess I need to figure out what it means."

"Ok! I'll help any way I can!" he enthusiastically stated.

"Thanks West," replied Serenity. "First, I need to investigate. After classes today, I'll do some more paintings and dream, so I can get a better idea of what's going on."

Later that day…

Serenity walked back into her dorm room. She had gotten more awesome grades on all of her tests and assignments, and she didn't even have any homework or reading assignments to do! That meant she had more time to investigate the meaning of the painting she had done that morning. She pulled it out of her backpack and sat it on a nearby easel that had been in her room the whole time. What? A painting that size won't fit in a backpack? Who cares; it's Serenity's awesome story!

Serenity used her ability to create prophetic artwork again on a blank canvas sitting on _another _easel she conveniently had sitting in her dorm room. In a matter of minutes, she had created another painting. This time, it was of a tall man with brown hair dressed in a long black coat. He had electricity crackling from his hands, and he looked somewhat… familiar. (Author's Note: It's Sylar! OMG! He's sooo kawaii, and I _totally _want him and Claire to get together, even though that would never actually happen!)

Serenity was intrigued by this mystery. She laid down in her bed and went to sleep, hoping to have a prophetic dream. Unlike the paintings, the dreams tended to have more information, but they were less accurate, since often the information was symbolic.

Sure enough, after a few minutes, Serenity was dreaming. She was walking down the hallway on the first floor of her dormitory. She walked out the front door, and a bright light poured out of it. Instead of the campus green, she was standing in New York City on Kirby Plaza. There was no one around. Just then, she turned around, and everything seemed to focus in on a man who was suddenly there- the same man from her first painting that day. He was laughing maniacally. She then saw Claire, West, Tetsuya, Seto, Kal, and Terra, along with the guy from the second painting, behind him, running; they seemed injured and frightened. Her hands began to glow, and then, she saw five shadows come in from multiple directions and cover everything in blackness.

Serenity jolted awake. It had only been five minutes, but it felt much longer than that. She sat on the edge of her bed, barely making a wrinkle on the silky black and silver sheets, and stared at her two paintings. What did they and her dream mean?

"I know one thing," Serenity boldly declared. "I need to find out what this means, and I have only one lead. I need to find my biological father, Samson Gray."

**I know I said I was going to try avoiding these author's notes at the end, but I need to bring up a few points. Yes, I realize this is a pretty short chapter. The whole thing is about to get turned on its head over the next four chapters though, so it gets significantly better. I'm doing research on Sues through stories on this site in order to get some ideas, so that will increase the amount of comedic material I have to draw from; if there's a story with an enormous Mary Sue you think I could draw from, (especially Heroes,) let me know. Just send me a private message though, because I don't want whiny Suethors after me. This will prove especially helpful, as I am putting together backstories for some of the other Sues I plan to introduce. Like I stated in the last update like this, I hope everyone is getting the jokes.**


	8. Different Shades of Gray!

Chapter Eight: Different Shades of Gray! Serenity and the Family Reunion!

Taking a final glance at the two prophetic paintings she had created, Serenity closed her eyes and teleported away. She knew that this _had _to be important, since it involved her, so she would go to the Company to ask Angela to use its resources to help find her biological father. After all, the fate of the world could be at stake!

She materialized outside of the Company building and quickly walked inside. Dave was the security guard on duty today. Great. That moron.

"Good afternoon!" he cheerfully greeted her with his stupid smile. "Let me get your name, and I'll sign-"

"My name is Serenity, you baka. Now, hurry up and sign me in."

"Oops! Sorry Serenity!" Dave stupidly apologized. He was so much dumber than Serenity! "I'll go ahead and sign you in!"

"Whatever," she muttered as she walked into the elevator. She went up to the thirteenth floor, entered the hallway, and walked towards Angela's office. She daintily knocked on the door in a way only she could.

"Come in!" said Angela from behind the door. It must be Serenity! She recognized her knock!

Serenity entered the office.

"Good afternoon, Agent Uzumaki!" Angela cheerfully greeted Serenity. "How are you?"

"Well," began Serenity, "I have been having some dreams and painting some paintings that lead me to believe that I need to find my biological father. I believe it is of dire importance, and the fate of the world may be hanging in the balance, if my suspicions are correct."

"Oh my!" gasped Angela. "This is cause for concern. We will help you in any way we can. In fact, I will shift some of our agents from analyzing the data you took from the compound in New Jersey to locating your biological father."

"Thank you, Mrs. Petrelli," replied Serenity.

"Don't mention it. We would do anything to help you, Serenity," replied Angela. "I am changing Agent O'Donnell, Agent Powell, and Agent Dawson's assignment from data analysis to helping you as I speak. You can meet them in the ninth floor lab."

"Ok," replied Serenity. She walked out the door and took the elevator to the ninth floor. She entered the lab and saw Agents O'Donnell, Powell, and Dawson waiting on her.

"Hey Serenity! We just got the orders to help you out in locating your biological father!" Agent Dawson cheerfully greeted Serenity. She was in her early twenties, had dark skin, and black hair. She had the ability to mimic physical skills, which Serenity also had, but didn't replicate from her.

"Hi Monica," said Serenity. "Yes, it is of utmost importance we find my biological father. The fate of the world may be at stake." She told them about her paintings and her dreams in perfect detail, not forgetting the slightest thing. She's so meticulous and awesome!

"Wow. We had better get to work then! That guy from the painting and dream sounds dangerous, and your biological father is the only lead!" Agent Powell said, stating the obvious, just like 99% of the characters in fan fiction. He was 20, had shaggy blue hair, and brown eyes. Isn't it cool how no one so much as bats an eyelid at all of the weird hair colors in this story? LOL! Also, Agent Powell had the ability to breathe fire.

"Hmm…" Agent O'Donnell was deep in thought, sitting at a computer. "Well, first, we need to check his last known location." He began typing furiously in order to obtain the required data. After a few moments, he found something. "I've got an address in Maryland. It's his last known residence, though in satellite pictures, it looks as though it's been unoccupied for at least a few years."

"That's where we'll start, then," stated Serenity with determination. She's sooo cool!

"Ok! Let's go!" excitedly exclaimed Monica.

The four agents joined hands, and Serenity used her awesome powers to teleport them to the house in Maryland. They arrived in an instant on the sidewalk in front of the dark, dingy-looking house. It really did look abandoned.

"C'mon," said Serenity. "Let's head inside and begin our investigation."

The other three did as they were instructed and followed behind Serenity as she headed for the front door. It looked as if it were about to fall off its hinges. Serenity tried the doorknob, but it was locked. Using her telekinesis, she unlocked it from the inside, then opened the door and headed in. The other agents followed her.

"Wow. T-this p-place is c-creepy!" nervously stuttered Agent Powell.

"You said it!" agreed Monica. She hated old, empty buildings!

Serenity, unlike everyone else, was not afraid. She boldly walked on, calm as could be! She was never afraid of _anything! _And, while everyone else was getting cobwebs and dust all over them, Serenity was as clean and beautiful as ever. "Let's start looking for clues as to where he may be going," said Serenity.

"You got it, Serenity!" replied everyone as they began to search.

They must have spent an hour in there, with no results! Everyone was getting slightly frustrated, except for Serenity, who never lost her cool and was incredibly patient, even though you can look to the fourth paragraph of this chapter to see her lose both her patience and her cool.

"We're never gonna find _anything _in here!" Agent Powell yelled angrily, small embers appearing around the edge of his mouth.

"Have you found anything with your abilities, Serenity?" inquired Agent O'Donnell. He knew if anyone could find Samson Gray, it was Serenity!

"Not anything that could lead us to his current location," replied Serenity. "I think we've only got one place left to check in here."

"Where?" asked Monica.

"I think I saw some kind of secret entrance into a basement or something in the kitchen," said Serenity. Why she didn't go down there earlier and instead let them wander around forever is beyond comprehension.

"Let's check it out," said Agent O'Donnell. "Lead the way, Serenity." Apparently, only Serenity could find the way to the friggin' kitchen.

The four agents headed into the kitchen. Serenity stopped in front of an empty wall next to the refrigerator. She knocked on it, and it sounded hollow.

"How are we going to get in?" asked Monica.

"I'll burn it down!" replied Agent Powell.

"You can't burn it," said Serenity, stopping Agent Powell. "This whole house will catch fire if you do."

"Oh yeah!" said Agent Powell, an anime sweat drop appearing on the back of his head. Isn't it amazing how smart Serenity is?

"There has to be a secret switch around here somewhere," said Serenity as she began looking around. She pulled books off of shelves, etc. Just then, she grabbed a taxidermied rabbit and tried to lift it. Instead, only one end lifted up- it was a lever! The secret door swung open, revealing a long, stone spiral staircase into a dark, underground chamber! Who cares that that's unrealistic?

"Wow! Great job Serenity! You're amazing!" excitedly exclaimed everyone.

"Thanks guys," said Serenity. "Let's go." She led the group into the dark descent, grabbing a torch that was conveniently just next to the entrance.

It seemed like they walked down that staircase forever.

"I think we're almost there!" said Serenity, offering encouragement to her teammates as they continued downwards. The flames from the torch that was somehow still burning reflected in her eyes and long, dark hair, making her look even more gorgeous than usual!

Serenity's words instantly reinvigorated the other three agents, giving them hope.

Within the next five minutes, the staircase came to an end. They were in a long hallway with a dirt floor. It was lined with more torches that were somehow still burning. At the end of the hallway, there was a large, stone door. The four, led by Serenity, approached it.

"Look!" said Agent Powell, pointing at the door. "There's something written there!"

"What does it say?" asked Monica.

"'Those who desire entry must answer five questions. Miss even one, and your life shall end'," said Serenity as she read the message out loud.

"Hmm…" pondered Agent O'Donnell. "I don't see any questions to answer…"

Just then, glowing words appeared on the door! It read: "Which of the following is not a normal hair color? Blue, pink, brown, or purple?"

"Well, duh," said Serenity. "The answer is brown, obviously."

The words of light then rearranged themselves to spell "Correct".

"Way to go, Serenity!" exclaimed everyone. It's a good thing she was so smart, because they might die down here otherwise, even though there are literally five other ways they could get into the chamber, using abilities, without triggering the death question mechanism thingy!

Question number two then appeared: "Why are people, who are not Japanese, have either first or last names that are Japanese?"

"That's easy!" exclaimed Serenity. "Because it's awesome!"

Another correct answer! Serenity was on a roll!

Question three read: "Which of the following is normal human behavior: breathing, cutting yourself, going to school, or getting a job?"

"Hmm… I think we should just leave all of these to you, Serenity! They're tough!" said Monica.

"No problem!" replied Serenity. "These are a cinch for me! The answer is cutting yourself! That's totally normal!"

Once again, Serenity was correct.

Question number four then materialized on the door. "Which of the following is correct grammar when writing a fan fic and describing possession: 'you're' or 'your'?"

"Trick question!" exclaimed Serenity. "It doesn't matter, because grammar is _lame _and fan fiction is totally awesome!" Another correct answer!

Just then, the fifth and final question appeared. "Who does the world revolve around?"

"Duh! The answer is me, Serenity Uzumaki!" stated Serenity knowingly.

With the final correct answer, the whole hallway began to shudder. The heavy stone door lifted, allowing Serenity and the others to enter the secret chamber.

"Wow!" exclaimed everyone as they entered. It was a totally white room; you couldn't even see where the floor ended and the walls began! In the middle of the floor, there was a circular pattern that appeared to be a port for something to pop up from the floor. On one of the walls, way up high near what was likely the ceiling, was a single switch.

"We need to hit that switch!" exclaimed Agent Powell, stating the obvious again.

Serenity pulled a six-sided die out of her pocket and flicked it at the switch, triggering it. The thing on the floor in the center of the room opened up, and a round, white, supercomputer-type machine thingy rotated out of it. It looked like a person was meant to get inside of it.

"Do you think that this will lead us to your biological father?" Agent O'Donnell asked Serenity.

"Only one way to find out," said Serenity as she approached the thing, whatever it was, and got inside of it. After less than a second, Serenity's eyes snapped shut, and something began happening!

Something then seemed to change about the room. It seemed almost as if it were filling with static… The colors in the room were stretching and warping. The whole room seemed to stretch and shake!

"What's happening?" yelled Monica, her eyes clenched shut.

"Someone's here," an unfamiliar, seemingly distant voice echoed throughout the room.


	9. OMG! I Just Realized How 9 Is Everywhere

Chapter Nine: OMG! I Just Realized How 9 is Everywhere in Heroes!

The room was shaking, and it seemed as if the very fabric of space was being manipulated.

"Someone's here," stated an unfamiliar, echoing voice that wasn't present.

Just then, the shaking, as well as the other stuff, stopped. Serenity opened her eyes, and got out of the machine.

Monica stood up. She had fallen on the floor. "What was that?" she asked nervously.

"I think this room and that machine are designed to teleport people and things between two different points," calmly answered Serenity. "Obviously, my father must be using it. I wouldn't be surprised if only people with intuitive aptitude can operate it."

"Wow! You're so smart, Serenity!" exclaimed Agent Powell as he got off of the ground.

Serenity walked to the door and opened it. Sure enough, on the other side of the door, it wasn't the dingy, dungeon-like hallway from before- they were now in the middle of the woods. Serenity exited the room, followed by the others. Other than the door, you couldn't even tell there was a room underground there. There was a worn trail before the group.

"This must lead us to where your biological father is," stated Agent Powell with a sense of wonder. Before leaving, he, as well as Monica and Agent O'Donnell, had read the Company's file on Samson Gray, and they saw how dangerous and powerful he was; Serenity had read the file many years ago.

Serenity began following the path, the others trailing not too far behind.

Thirty minutes later…

"The sun will set in the next few hours," said Monica. "We don't really know where we are, either. I hope we find where we're going soon."

"I think… we're near," replied Serenity as she came to a stop. "Look." She was gesturing towards a trailer that they could see roughly a mile away. It did not appear to be well-kept.

"He's in there?" asked Agent Powell, to which Serenity responded with a nod.

"He's very powerful…" said Monica, trailing off.

"We're behind you one-hundred percent, Serenity!" determinedly exclaimed Agent O'Donnell.

"Yeah!" agreed Monica. "We'd do anything to help you, Serenity!"

"Thank you everyone," said Serenity. "You're all dear friends, but I think I have to do this alone."

"What? Why?" asked Agent Powell. "We're not afraid!"

"I know you aren't," said Serenity, "but I have to confront my father alone."

"…We understand, Serenity," said everyone. "We believe in you! You can do it!"

"Thanks," said Serenity. "I'll call Mrs. Petrelli and get her to send someone to take you back to the Company." She pulled out her phone and did so in order to get her friends out of danger's way, even though it would have been smarter not to bring them at all, because they've done nothing but state the obvious the whole time.

After a few minutes, a blur rushed by, then doubled back in the blink of an eye- it was Tetsuya. Serenity had put in a good word for him, and he was an agent now, rather than a prisoner on Level 5. And I _totally _didn't show this because I forgot about writing that. What color is his hair again? LOL!

"Hey Serenity," he said with a _totally _hawt grin. "I'll take these guys back to New York." He grabbed them all, and was gone in an instant burst of wind. In a matter of moments, he returned.

The two stared into each others' eyes for a minute, but it felt like an eternity, even though that really sounds more like a lack of social skills than being romantic.

"You sure you wanna do this?" Tetsuya asked.

"I have to," replied Serenity. "The fate of the world is at stake, and I have to learn about where I come from, even though I haven't been concerned about 'where I come from' until this point in the story."

Tetsuya nodded. "I understand. I believe in you, and I know you'll succeed, because this is your awesome story."

The two then passionately kissed; it was _totally _hawt. Tetsuya then zoomed away faster than the speed of sound. Serenity turned towards the decrepit structure her father was in, and determinedly began walking towards it.

Thoughts raced through her head: "What am I going to learn here?" "Why did he give me up for adoption to that mean couple that make my life _totally _miserable?" "Who are the others in the paintings and dream?" "How many boyfriends would I have simultaneously in this story?"

As she got closer, she made sure she was aware of her surroundings, because absolutely anything could happen, as her biological father was incredibly powerful and dangerous. All of a sudden, Serenity's hand shot up- she was holding an arrow pointing directly at her right eye! She had caught it just in time! It would seem that she had empathically absorbed Tetsuya's super speed when she kissed him! How cool!

Three more arrows were shot at her, which she stopped in midair with her telekinesis. "Who's there?" she yelled. "Don't shoot me with arrows, you baka!"

Another arrow was shot at her, which she expertly dodged.

"Grr! This is annoying!" complained Serenity. "Time to show whoever this is, even though anyone with half a brain can figure out it's obviously my biological father, not to mess with me!" Her eyes then turned completely black.

Whoever was foolishly shooting the arrows at Serenity began to viciously cough. Obviously, Serenity's poisonous black tears were taking their toll.

"I am walking towards the trailer. If you want to live, you will not shoot at me again," she said, her eyes returning to normal. She walked inside to see the person who had been shooting at her sitting on the ground; it was her biological father, Samson Gray! Like no one saw that one coming!

"Who… Who're you?" he asked, turning up the oxygen on his oxygen tank. "What do you want with me?"

"I'm your daughter," calmly replied Serenity, "and I have some questions for you."

"My daughter?" he asked, somewhat shocked, as he got up off the floor. "Even though this is completely out of character for me, since I've said in the canon I don't care about anyone, I'm so happy to see you, because you're so awesome!" he happily added as he hugged her.

Serenity hesitated for a second, then she hugged the murderous, out-of-character nutcase back.

After their completely unrealistic little sappy moment, Samson looked at her. "You look so beautiful," he said. "So much prettier than all of the cheerleaders and preppy stupid girls in high schools!"

"Thanks," said Serenity, totally under-reacting to meeting her biological father.

"You must tell me of your totally awesome life!" he cheerfully exclaimed.

Serenity did so in excellent detail, telling him about her job, school, all the times she had saved the world before, her abilities, and everything else.

"That's amazing! So what on Earth brings you here?" he asked enthusiastically. He thought Serenity was sooo awesome!

"Well," began Serenity, "I've created several prophecies, and you were the only lead I had. I believe the fate of the world is at stake, and I'm the absolute only one who can stop it."

"Hmm… I see," he replied. "I'll help you in any way I can, because I love you so much, regardless of how out of character it makes me!"

"Ok, cool," replied Serenity. She sketched a perfect drawing of the guy from her first painting. "What can you tell me about him? Who is he?"

Samson turned, and took a few steps. "He's… the reason you were given up for adoption."

"What? Why? What did he do?" she asked.

"He tried to kidnap you constantly over your mother's pregnancy and the first three months of your life. Eventually, we just decided you would be safer if we gave you up, to hide you" he replied.

"Who is he though?" she asked.

"I don't know," he replied.

Serenity thought for a second. "So…" she began. "I'll go back. I'll time travel to 1992 and find out who this guy is, what he wants, and how to stop him."

"Time travel?" he asked. "That one of the ones you've taken?"

"Yep," she replied. "I got it a few years ago."

"Well, be careful," Samson warned. "Whoever he is, he is very powerful. Even I could not defeat him."

"Ok," replied Serenity, still totally under-reacting. Instead of asking about her biological mother or siblings or anything a normal, real person would do, even though the past kinda isn't going anywhere, she closed her eyes and disappeared in an instant as she time-travelled nineteen years into the past.

"Godspeed, my dear daughter," said Samson after she left, still completely out of character.

** Only two chapters left in this volume. Like I said before, I have the basic plot of the whole story planned out, so I think it ends pretty well. The next chapter will be a longer one, probably at least as long as chapter five, so it will probably take the full two weeks to write, since I have a life. Regardless, it will be up before Independence Day. Once again, if you know of a story with a major Mary Sue I can use in my research, let me know. The other Sues will be introduced shortly. Technically, they've already kind of been introduced. Meaningless bonus points to you if you can spot them.**


	10. 1992

Chapter Ten: 1992

Serenity appeared on the roof of the Deveaux Building in May 1992. She had somehow managed to change clothes before arriving, even though that sounds totally stupid and the rules laid out by the Heroes writers don't allow for that. She was wearing black, high-heeled boots, black bell bottom pants, a black shirt with spaghetti straps, and a black coat. She looked absolutely gorgeous, as usual.

"Now, to find where this guy is and what he's after," Serenity said aloud to herself, because it's normal to talk to yourself constantly.

Serenity jumped off the edge of the building and landed gracefully on the sidewalk below. She then used her newly-acquired super speed to dash from Manhattan to Brooklyn. She likely didn't just time travel to Brooklyn in the first place because the author of this story wanted to get in more locations from the show in a feeble attempt to legitimize this story.

She entered a luxurious apartment complex, which her biological father had told her they had lived in for some time, even though that wasn't in their conversation at all in the last chapter. The complex was super cool, and had ten swimming pools, marble floors, and hot tubs and big screen TVs galore! How her biological parents afforded this, even though it's implied Samson has _always _been dirt poor, is inconsequential, because this is Serenity's awesome story! She headed to the ninth floor (Author's Note: There's the number nine again! I'm just like the real Heroes writers! Yay!), then began looking for apartment 944, which is where they had lived. She would have to be very careful, as her biological father was very powerful, and likely slightly paranoid because of this mysterious man attempting to kidnap her younger self, who was also extraordinarily powerful.

After a few minutes, she located the correct apartment. She knocked on the door in order to check if anyone was home. After a few minutes, when no one answered, she used her expert lock-picking skills to enter the residence. She carefully closed the door behind her.

The apartment was absolutely beautiful; it was nearly as beautiful as any of Serenity's thirteen mansions! The floors were made of marble, there was a giant fountain and fireplace in the living room, and every room had a hot tub! Wow!

She searched every room, including the eight bedrooms, which is improbable for any apartment, especially in New York, checking for people. As she suspected, no one was home. It was time to begin this investigation!

First, she decided to search her bedroom- or rather, her infant self's bedroom. She entered the pretty, giant, extravagant pink room and began to look around. She placed her hands on her cradle; she got a flash of herself as a baby sleeping, but nothing that could lead her to a solution to what she needed to do back in the present. She searched the room thoroughly in this manner for a few minutes, until she came to a bookcase. She began going through the books, until she found a book of fairy tales. This book, however, was not like the others- it had burn marks all over it.

As she held this book, Serenity got a flash of its history. There was a fire in a house that she assumed had been theirs. She saw her biological father carrying her out of the flames, using his abilities to protect them from the heat and the smoke. She could hear her mother crying and screaming outside for the safety of her child. After they exited, a shadow appeared out of the flames. It was the mystery man from the painting and dream! He was completely unaffected by the flames. He waved his hand, and the entire fire was extinguished. With a blank look on his face, he then somehow vanished.

Serenity placed the book back on the shelf. This guy must have been chasing her for quite some time. But why was he after her? I mean, of course Serenity is the most special person ever, but still, there must be another reason. She then decided to check her biological parents' bedroom.

She quietly entered the room and began to search as she had in all of the other rooms, using both her investigative skills and abilities to search for information. From various objects, such as pictures, jewelry, and even a loaded gun, she saw more conflicts between her biological father and this man. What did all of this mean?

She left her parents' bedroom and walked down the hall. She entered the living room and prepared to search with her psychometry again. As she was about to touch an antique lamp, she thought she heard a noise. She stood up and looked around. Someone was here.

She felt a presence suddenly appear behind her. It was… a dark presence. She rapidly turned around and used her telekinesis to fling this evil individual into the wall. He landed hard on his back. It was the guy her biological family was running from! Without moving his limbs at all, he raised up into a standing position.

"Nice trick," he said with a sinister grin.

(Author's Note: At this point, after he says that, imagine or play the song "Beautiful and Strange" by Mudvayne, because that's what I think of as playing while this battle occurs. It makes this fight scene _so _friggin' awesome, desu ne? Can you imagine if real authors interrupted the story to recommend soundtracks to their work? LOL!)

Serenity rushed at him with her super speed and began an onslaught of powerful punches. He took some and dodged others. Blazing hot flames then engulfed his hands, and he began throwing punches back at Serenity. Anyone else would have been burnt to a crisp, but not Serenity! She dodged those incendiary punches like a pro with a series of backflips, cartwheels, and other super-cool acrobatic techniques. Serenity levitated into the air, and, never turning away or leaving a standing position, floated back twenty feet and landed on the ground.

She took a fighting stance. "Who are you?" she asked with a determined glare.

He laughed. "I'm a man with a goal."

"And what would that goal be, you baka?" she angrily asked, never taking her eyes off of him or losing her stance.

He didn't respond. Instead, he only smirked evilly.

Serenity then used her ability to fly to zoom across the room and slam into him. Both of them hit the wall. They got up at the same time and began attacking each other relentlessly. The guy began throwing fire from his hands. Serenity dodged most of it, but the back of her left hand got slightly singed, which she quickly healed from. She grabbed a katana that was conveniently on the wall and began using her expert sword skills against her powerful opponent. She rapidly slashed at him. After awhile, she finally got in a direct hit! But something was strange- he had the ability to absorb physical forces that hit him and redirect them! He used this skill to push Serenity back a few feet.

"Damn," Serenity thought to herself. "This baka is tough. I know I'll still win, because I'm Serenity, but still. This is the toughest battle so far." She then got the idea to freeze time. _That _seemed to stop him!

She walked towards him. She got face-to-face with him and looked into his eyes. Who was this guy? She pondered the answer to this question for a few minutes.

All of a sudden, he began to move. He must have some other ability that just kicked in somehow that protected him!

Thinking quickly, Serenity swung her katana at him. She managed to cut over his right eye, causing him to scream in pain. He swung his arm at Serenity, sending her flying across the room as he hit her. Serenity spun around and caught herself as she hit a couch, which rolled over on its back. She flipped over it, katana in hand, to continue the fight. She was _totally _winning!

"Grr…" the guy mumbled. "My name is Ares Yamamoto, and you will rue the day you crossed me and interrupted my plans!" He then vanished.

"Yeah, you better run, you stupid baka! That's what you get for messing with me!" she yelled. She then heard someone at the door. She quickly hid as her biological parents, holding her past self in their arms, entered.

"Oh my gosh!" her biological mother yelled. "He's back! Samson, I'm scared!" It's not weird at all how she's scared of one murderous nutcase and not the one she's married to, but whatever. It's Serenity's awesome story, so it doesn't need to make sense.

"It's ok, my love," he reassured her, looking around for Ares. "He was here, but I think he's gone now."

Serenity's mother sighed wearily. "We can't keep living like this, Samson." She looked down at her child in her arms. "We have to do something to keep little Serenity safe…"

"I know," he replied. He thought for a minute, then he came up with an idea. "We'll hide her. We'll put her up for adoption, and we'll make sure she goes somewhere he'll never find her, even though in reality we couldn't control where she ends up, because that's not how the adoption process works."

Her mother closed her eyes, making a futile attempt to hold back her tears. "You're right, Samson. It must be done."

Serenity's biological parents then left the apartment. Serenity came out from her hiding spot.

"I need to follow them," she said aloud to herself like a crazy person again. She then stealthily slipped out the door, just like a ninja, and followed her biological parents.

Two hours later…

Serenity had followed behind her biological parents like a shadow for hours. Why they were walking instead of taking a cab or something, especially in the middle of New York City, is beyond comprehension. They walked into the adoption agency, and Serenity slipped in the door behind them.

"Good afternoon," said the woman at the counter to Serenity's biological parents. "How can I help you?"

"We would like to put our daughter up for adoption," Samson said to the woman.

"Ok! I just need you to sign this form," she said, handing him the documents and a pen on a clipboard.

After he had filled it out and signed it, he handed the document back to the woman.

"You'll see the adoption agent in a few minutes. Please, take a seat over there," she said, gesturing to a row of chairs along the wall.

Serenity's biological parents sat down. Her mother was in silent contemplation as she held her beloved child in her arms for the final time. After a few minutes, they were called into the adoption agent's office. Serenity stealthily followed.

"My name is Ms. Smithsonworthingtonshire. Ok, Mr. and Mrs. Gray, let's look over some prospective parents for your totally awesome daughter, even though the biological parents don't actually have a say in this process in reality," said the adoption agent. She placed a binder on the table with pictures of prospective parents, as stupid as that sounds.

"Hmm… No, not these," said Serenity's biological mother, flipping through the pages.

"We have to make sure our choice is the proper one," said Samson to his wife.

"I know, my dear," she sadly replied. She flipped the page yet again.

"How about this one?" asked Samson, looking at the page.

"Oh yes," said the Ms. Smithsonworthingtonshire. "Those are the Clarksons. They are from Odessa, Texas. They will make your daughter do chores and other totally lame stuff."

"They're perfect," said Samson. "He'll never find her with them."

"…Ok," said Serenity's mother. "We'll give our daughter to them." She and Samson signed the papers, then she handed baby Serenity over to Ms. Smithsonworthingtonshire.

"We'll send her to Texas right away," she said as Serenity's parents left.

Serenity stealthily followed them out. How she was hiding in a 12x12 office with three other people in it, who knows. Also, why is her last name Uzumaki, when she's never been married, her biogical parents are named Gray, and her adoptive parents are named Clarkson? Who cares? Serenity is awesome!

Serenity's biological parents walked out the door of the adoption agency, and she followed them. She knew why she was given up, and the name of the mysterious guy, but she still didn't know exactly why he was after her, nor why she had prophesized about him. Some more investigation was required!

After they had walked a few blocks, Samson stopped, holding out his arm to stop his wife.

"What is it, Samson?" she asked through her tears.

"He's here," he responded.

Just then, Serenity's biological mother went flying into the side of a nearby building! She slumped to the ground, blood pooling around her.

"Hello, Mr. Gray," said Ares with his evil smirk. He now had a scar over his right eye where Serenity had cut him earlier. She decided to stay out of this, and just observe. She picked a hiding place behind a low wall.

Samson attempted to use his telekinesis to send him flying, but Ares absorbed that force and redirected it at him, causing him to be pushed back.

"Where's your daughter?" Ares asked, never changing the look on his face.

"Somewhere… where you'll never… find her," Samson replied angrily, pulling himself up off the ground.

"Hmm. That's too bad," said Ares. "I was going to somehow use her to take over the world for some reason. This puts my plans for world domination on hold. It may be nineteen years, HINT HINT, but the world will someday be mine!" He then vanished.

Samson ran to his wife's side. Serenity wanted to check if she was ok, too, but she couldn't risk changing history. Now that she knew what Ares was after, it was time to return to 2011. She closed her eyes and time traveled to a few seconds after she left.

She appeared in her office at the Company. She had to warn Mrs. Petrelli about Ares right away! It was up to Serenity to save the entire world again!


	11. Sueage Overflow

Chapter Eleven: Sueage Overflow

Serenity had just returned from the past, where she learned of why her biological parents gave her up for adoption, as well as the name of the villain she must face, Ares, and his ultimate goal of world domination. Serenity was the only one who could save the world from this madman!

She walked down the hall to Mrs. Petrelli's office. The door was open, so she walked in. Mrs. Petrelli, Tetsuya, Kal, Seto, and Terra were there. In addition, Claire, West, and the guy from her second painting were there as well.

"Oh! Serenity! You're back!" joyfully exclaimed Mrs. Petrelli.

"West and I were so worried, especially after he told me about your paintings, so we came to the Company to find you!" exclaimed Claire with a sense of relief. She was so glad her _bestest friend EVER _Serenity was ok!

"We were worried, too!" exclaimed Terra, running to her best friend Serenity and hugging her. "Tetsuya came and told us everything! We never stopped believing in you though!"

Serenity walked toward everyone, ignoring stupid Terra's stupid hug. "Thank you everyone. But, I have discovered what exactly this grave threat to the world that I have predicted is."

Everyone became even _more _focused on Serenity, intently and excitedly listening to what she had to say.

"First of all, the man in my first painting's name is Ares Yamamoto," said Serenity. "He attempted to kidnap me many times as a baby, in order to take over the world. Now, I believe he is attempting to take over the world again. He is almost as powerful as I am, but, as you all know, I'm the best in the world, so I'm still a _lot _stronger. But still, he's dangerous."

"Oh no!" exclaimed Claire with a look of worry.

"This could be bad," said Kal.

"We'll help however we can, Serenity!" exclaimed Seto.

"Thanks guys," said Serenity.

"Oh, by the way," began Claire, completely losing her previous emotions of worry, "this is Sylar," she said, gesturing to the guy from the second painting. "He's your older half brother."

"Ok, cool," replied Serenity, once again completely under-reacting to news that would be life-altering to a person in real life.

"Where should we begin searching for him?" asked Terra.

"Hmm…" Serenity was in deep thought. "Instead of using any of our superhuman abilities, let's split up and look all over New York City for some reason."

"Ok!" said everyone.

They all split up and began to search. Tetsuya went with Terra, Seto went with Kal, Sylar went with Claire, and West went with Serenity.

"Where do you think this guy is, Serenity?" asked West as they walked down Fifth Avenue in Manhattan.

"Hmm…" Serenity was deep in thought. "I'm not sure. All we know is that he's somewhere here in New York City."

"It's a good thing we have you, Serenity," he said, "otherwise we'd all be doomed!"

"Thanks," she said.

They continued walking for a few minutes.

"Let's check Central Park," said Serenity all of a sudden.

"Ok!" replied West. "I'd blindly do _anything _you told me to do, Serenity!"

The two then crossed the street and entered Central Park.

Meanwhile, in Queens…

Kal and Seto were diligently searching for Ares. It was urgent that they find him so Serenity could stop him in order to prevent him from taking over the world!

"I hope we can find him!" said Kal nervously.

"Me too," replied Seto. "Serenity can defeat him, but we have to find his location first!"

All of a sudden, Kal had an idea. "I know! We'll go back to the Company and set up a computer network to search for him!"

"Huh?" asked Seto. "How?"

"Well," began Kal, "we have enough people on the ground to respond and hold him off until Serenity arrives, if she's not already the first one there, of course, without you and me here. We can set up the Company's satellites to all focus in on the city, so if he's outdoors at all, we'll be able to see him. Also, we can hack into all of the cell phone towers, using every cell phone in the city like a microphone to pick up his voice!"

(Author's Note: Wow! Sooo cool and original! They can pick up his voice, even though only Serenity has heard it before! Neat-o!)

"Cool," said Seto. "How did you think of that?"

"I just tried to think like Serenity," replied Kal.

"Let's call Serenity and tell her," said Seto. "Then we'll let Mrs. Petrelli know about the plan."

Meanwhile, in Central Park…

Serenity and West were still searching for any sign of Ares. Just then, Serenity's phone began to ring. The two of them stopped walking, and Serenity answered.

"Hello?" she asked to the person on the other end of the line. You would think she would check her caller ID, but whatever.

"Hey Serenity," said the person. It was Kal. "I came up with a plan by thinking like you." He then proceeded to explain his kind of unethical plan to spy on the entire city.

"Ok, cool," said Serenity. "You guys do that, and call everyone else and tell them the plan. We'll all stay on the ground in order search and to respond if anyone finds them."

"Ok," replied Kal as he and Seto headed to the Company to execute his plan, though, since it was inspired by Serenity, it's kind of Serenity's plan.

Serenity walked over towards West, who had sat down on a park bench, and sat next to him. She noticed that the sun was beginning to set. She then explained her super-cool plan to him.

"Wow! That's great, Serenity! You're amazing!" he cheerfully exclaimed in admiration.

"Thanks," she said, blushing slightly.

"You're so beautiful and cool, too," he continued, drawing closer to her. He looked _super _hawt and kawaii and stuff.

The two of them then passionately kissed as the sun set. It only lasted for a minute, but it seemed like a blissful eternity. They stared into each others' eyes, which, once again, honestly sounds more creepy and socially awkward than romantic.

"Let's keep searching," said Serenity, who was blushing. The two of them got up and continued to look for Ares.

Meanwhile, on Liberty Island…

Terra and Tetsuya were standing in the Statue of Liberty's crown, looking out over the city.

"Why are we looking here?" asked Terra stupidly.

"Because," replied Tetsuya, "authors of stories like this have no concept of geography, and always pick the best-known landmarks in a city for battles and stuff to take place."

"Oh, ok," said Terra. "So, we need to think of other important landmarks and stuff to search if we don't find him here."

"Yeah," said Tetsuya. "Let's go ahead and finish up here. The faster we find him, the faster Serenity can defeat him and we can spend more time basking in her awesomeness."

(Author's Note: Oh no! I went five whole paragraphs without mentioning Serenity!)

"Ok! I love basking in Serenity's awesomeness! Let's do it!" cheerfully exclaimed Terra as the two of them began to search some more.

Across the bay, in Brooklyn…

Claire and Sylar were searching near the edge of the Brooklyn Bridge. Strangely enough, even though Claire, on the TV show, _swore _she would never forgive Sylar, they were getting along perfectly! They're sooo kawaii together, desu ne? I _looooooooove _pairing these two together, even though there's the aforementioned animosity (due to him cutting off the top her head, killing her biological father, and so on), the 15+ year age difference, etc.

"I'm not sure he's anywhere near here," said Sylar.

"Me either," responded Claire. "Where else should we check?"

"I'm not sure," he responded. "So, what can you tell me about my sister?"

"Oh, she's great!" said Claire excitedly. "She's the most powerful person in the world! She's really pretty, and super-smart! She's incredibly cool, as well! She's my best friend ever! I _totally _want to be _just _like her!"

"Cool!" said Sylar.

"Hey, what's that?" asked Claire, pointing at something on the sidewalk.

Sylar walked to pick it up. It was a cell phone.

"It must belong to Ares!" exclaimed Claire. "The only reason it would be randomly found in a fan fic like this, as unlikely as that is, is if it had something to do with the immediate goal at hand!"

"Nope," said Sylar, checking the phone. "It's some random girl's phone. It has nothing to do with Ares."

"Oh, ok," said Claire.

At the Company, Kal and Seto had finally completed setting up their highly illegal, unethical, and improbable digital spying network.

"Now, all we have to do is wait," said Kal with a sense of determination. "If he so much as speaks, or if he's on the streets, we'll find him."

"Cool," replied Seto.

Meanwhile, Serenity and West were still searching through Central Park. They had gone over nearly every square inch of that park, as improbable as that sounds for them to do in such a short period of time. The sun had finally set, so it was now night.

"I don't think he's in Central Park," said Serenity.

"Hmm… Where do you think he is, then?" curiously asked West. "You're the only one who is smart enough to find him!"

"Maybe we should check Kirby Plaza, where he was in my dream," said Serenity. Why they didn't check there several hours before, even though the dream _specifically _showed him there, is beyond comprehension.

"Ok!" exclaimed West as they began walking that way, even though they can both fly, which would be significantly faster.

After about fifteen minutes of walking, Serenity's phone began to ring. She answered it, not checking her caller ID again. It was Kal.

"We just found him!" Kal exclaimed. "He's on Kirby Plaza, just standing there, not doing anything, as dumb as that sounds!"

"I was right, as usual! Ok, everybody needs to head there right now! Let them know, and meet me there!" shouted Serenity. She then hung up and informed West of what she had just learned.

"Ok! Let's go save the world!" exclaimed West.

The two of them then zoomed into the air, and rapidly flew towards Kirby Plaza!

As expected, Serenity was the first to arrive. She was sooo much faster than West, so he had fallen behind! She landed roughly twenty feet behind Ares.

"Hey, you baka! If you want to take over the world, you're gonna have to go through me!" Serenity shouted at the villain.

Ares quickly turned around, and glared at Serenity. "You!" he exclaimed angrily, the memory of Serenity causing the scar over his right eye nineteen years ago still fresh in his memory.

The two then began to battle. Serenity created a replica behind him, which then tripped him before disappearing. Serenity then ran up and began kicking him. He then backflipped into a standing position and began fighting back. The series of super strength enhanced punches and kicks would have turned anyone else into a bloody pulp, but not Serenity! She countered and dodged those super-strong attacks like a pro! She then flipped over and behind him. When he turned around, she used her super speed to unleash a series of rapid punches at his face, after which, with a wave of her arm, she sent him flying with her telekinesis.

"You're tough, and cool and pretty, but you'll never stop me from taking over the world!" he said with a sinister look on his face as he picked himself up off of the ground and wiped the blood from his mouth. He then threw a bolt of lightning from his hand, which directly hit Serenity! If she didn't have the power to heal, she would've been done for!

She got up off the ground, and rushed towards Ares. Just then, West _finally _arrived. He landed behind Ares and grabbed him, attempting to hold him while Serenity attacked. Ares was too strong to be held, though, so he easily broke West's grip and threw him into the side of a nearby building. West slumped to the ground unconscious.

Serenity and Ares traded more blows, neither hurting the other much, though Serenity, by virtue of being Serenity, was still winning, though only slightly.

All of a sudden, Sylar, Claire, Tesuya, Terra, Seto, and Kal arrived, as unlikely as their simultaneous arrival seems. Kal and Claire went to help West, dragging him off while trying to stay out of Serenity's way as she took on Ares. Seto and Tetsuya headed forward to help Serenity, while Terra just stood there uselessly.

"We're here to help, Serenity!" exclaimed Seto. He grabbed Ares and flew him fifty feet into the air, then dropped him on the ground. Unfortunately, he used his ability to absorb the kinetic energy and redirected it at Seto, causing him to crash to the ground, severely injured.

"Oh no!" cried Terra as she went to help him. She was worried, but not as worried as if Serenity were injured, of course. She helped him over to the others.

Tetsuya began attacking Ares, but Ares was far too powerful for him. "I… can't… stop… him…" he gasped.

"Go help the others to get out of here," Serenity ordered Tetsuya. "I got this."

Tetsuya did as he was told. He, Sylar, Claire, and Kal, while carrying the injured, began to attempt to escape Kirby Plaza.

Ares began laughing. "Your friends are pathetic," he said to Serenity with an evil smirk.

Serenity walked towards him and slugged him in the face. He took it, then turned back towards her with that same stupid look on his face. Serenity was pissed!

Ares then began firing bolts of electricity at Serenity. She expertly dodged them with a series of acrobatic techniques as she created two replicas, which then began attacking Ares. He then zapped them, causing them to disappear.

Serenity then held up her hand, as if to use her telekinesis.

"You ought to know by now that if I see that coming, I'm just going to absorb it," Ares laughed.

"Oh, I know that, you baka," Serenity replied with a smirk, causing Ares to take on a perplexed visage.

Instead of throwing him, Serenity telekinetically grabbed him, holding him in place. He struggled, but he couldn't move! Isn't it great how Serenity is smart enough to think to do that?

She walked towards him, still completely furious. "Now, let's have some fun." She began punching him in the face, over and over again, while still holding him in place with her mind. After a few punches, her hands began to glow with nuclear energy. She kept up her onslaught.

After a few minutes of this, Serenity stopped to catch her breath, as well as to admire her gory handiwork. Ares' face was bruised, burned, and bloodied.

All of a sudden, just as Serenity was prepared to strike the final blow, his eyes went completely black! But, Serenity wasn't causing it! She looked around, and then she saw her- a beautiful girl, roughly her age, who had black tears, just like Serenity! For some reason, she made Serenity feel… uncomfortable.

Ares quickly recovered from the girl's attack with one of the abilities he had taken on over the years. Just then, however, another beautiful girl suddenly appeared, dressed in all black. She pulled the sword off of her back and stabbed Ares, causing him to scream in pain! Serenity didn't enjoy this…

All of a sudden, Ares went flying into the wall. A guy in a blue sleeveless shirt had walked up and telekinetically thrown him into the wall! The wall next to where Ares had hit seemed to change all of a sudden. A pretty girl with pink hair and cat ears instead of normal ears walked out of the wall. Her hands were engulfed in blue flames, and she torched Ares! Serenity wondered what the heck was going on. _She _was supposed to be the only one who could stop Ares!

Ares was breathing heavily at this point. He was severely injured, and on death's doorstep. Just then, a gunshot was heard, and a bullet hit him in his right kneecap, causing him to scream in agony. The person who had fired the gun was an extremely beautiful girl with waist-length black hair who Serenity hadn't seen. She had actually just materialized there. She fired another shot, hitting Ares in his left shoulder.

"Dammit!" Ares yelled in severe pain. "Why are all of you even here? I'm not even that great of a villain. I don't have a motivation! I don't even have a friggin' backstory!"

The pretty girl with the gun shot at him again, hitting him in his other kneecap.

"Arrrrgh!" Ares yelled in agony. "You all suck! I'll do it myself!" He pulled a gun out of his pocket and shot himself in the head. He slumped forward and onto the ground.

Serenity and the other five just… _stared _at each other. This wasn't right. Serenity was supposed to be the one to defeat Ares. Why were all of these people so beautiful? Were they more beautiful than Serenity? Were they… better than Serenity? She felt a knot in her stomach.

Just at that moment, something visibly changed. It was almost like ripples in a pond. It only lasted for a second, but it was as if the very fabric of the universe was being stretched in multiple directions.

**End of Volume One**

**Volume Two: Collision**

The next day, Sylar was walking across the campus green at Arlington University. He was there to visit both Serenity and Claire. They were all going to hang out, watch anime, and eat pocky; you know, stuff that totally normal people do when they hang out.

Just then, someone tapped him on the shoulder- only, no one had had been there just a second before. He turned around and saw a pretty girl with waist-length black hair. She was totally gorgeous!

"Hey," she said with a sexy smile.

"Uh, hey," replied Sylar, completely awestruck.

"Why don't you come with me?" she asked, grabbing his hand, lacing her fingers with his.

"Well, uh, I…" he studdered.

"I wasn't giving you a choice," she said darkly, her face contorted into a mask of pure anger. She was still totally hot though. She dragged Sylar into a nearby building and slammed the door shut.


	12. Three Days Ago

Chapter One: Three Days Ago…

Three days before the events on Kirby Plaza…

A beautiful, mysterious-looking girl was walking down the desert road, the skyline of Las Vegas visible behind her. She had an aura of mystery about her, and mysterious mystery mystery blah blah whoop. She was wearing a long, black trench coat. On her back, she had a samurai sword. She had short, dark hair and icy blue eyes. She had a vacant look on her face, as if she were out for vengeance.

As she continued along the dusty road, she thought about what she had been through over the past week. Her lover and master, Hiro Nakamura, had disappeared, not even leaving a note. She had been searching for answers. The only clue she had was a key she had found.

After a few more minutes of walking, she left the road and walked off towards some shrubs. She parted them with her hands to reveal a small cave opening, which she then entered. This was her home. It was relatively spacious, as far as caves go. It somehow had water and electricity, too. She sat down on her couch and turned on her laptop in order to look up some information as to what this key might go to. Because, of course, Google would totally have the answer to what a random key goes to.

Her name was Luna Moonshadow, and she had a superhuman ability. She could manipulate time and space, and had been training under Hiro. She had met him many years ago, when he was travelling through Las Vegas on a mission to save New York from exploding. Nearly two years ago, they began dating and training together. She had learned many things from him over these years. How he could go missing all of a sudden, she couldn't possibly imagine.

After finding the information she needed, she picked her sword up off of the coffee table- it was an ancient samurai sword used by Shmakezo Shmensei, who had totally fought alongside Takezo Kensei in feudal Japan, but it was just never mentioned in any of the legends. She placed her sword on her back, walked out of her cave, and stood in the sun, taking a quick glance at the city in the distance. She didn't know when she would return. She closed her eyes and disappeared in an instant.

Meanwhile, in Costa Verde, California…

A guy named Honda Toyota walked down the street on his way home from school. He was wearing a blue shirt. He was ripped. He had telekinesis.

"Hey," said a girl from behind him.

"Hey," he said.

"You're cool. I have a special power, and I can see the future. You save the world from a guy in New York. You should go there."

"Ok, cool," he said as he began going to New York to save the world.

Meanwhile, in Chennai, India, Dr. Mohinder Suresh had just gone to bed. His wife, Mira, whom he had married just a year before, was next to him, already in a deep slumber. They were extraordinarily happy together, and no one could ever tear them apart. Or so he thought.

As he drifted off into sleep's sweet embrace, he began to dream. But something was different about this dream. What it was, however, he couldn't quite place his finger on. The most beautiful woman he had ever seen was walking towards him. She had shiny, waist-length ebony black hair; skin as white as snow and soft as the fat rolls of the people actually writing stuff like this; and eyes of a rich, deep violet.

"Who are you?" Mohinder asked this beautiful creature. He knew he was dreaming, but…

She walked up to him, and they looked deep into each others' eyes.

"I'm the person the world revolves around," she replied with a sexy smile. She placed her hand on his chest and kissed him deeply.

"This feels so real," he gasped, "but it's… it's only a dream."

"Of course it's a dream," she replied. "But unlike most dreams, this one _is_ real."

Things then got nasty, and I really don't want to go into detail. Sorry, creepy people who get off on this stuff.

Mohinder suddenly woke up. He was sweating profusely, and adrenaline was rushing in his veins. He looked over at his wife, who now looked unattractive and boring after his encounter with the woman in his dream. Was it a dream? Was it real? Would she be back?

He got out of bed and walked to do research on this dream. He _had _to know more about her!

Meanwhile, somewhere in Washington, D.C., a beautiful girl with waist-length black hair, soft white skin, and purple eyes woke up, got out of bed, and looked out the window into the broad daylight. She laughed to herself loudly.

"It's all coming together," she said with a darkly beautiful smirk.

Two days ago…

Xarash Halliwell looked around her small trailer. She was a part of a travelling carnival, and all of them had powers. It just hadn't been the same since Samuel, their leader, had been taken in by the government nearly two years ago. Since then, she had been rebuilding and leading the tiny family of carnies. She was greatly beloved by all of the people, and they all looked up to her for guidance and wisdom, even though it isn't very likely that a seventeen year-old would have much wisdom, but whatever.

She went to the sink and washed her face. She brushed her wavy, shoulder-length pink hair out of her emerald green eyes. She had cat ears instead of normal ears, which, despite being a major physical deformity, no one ever even batted an eyelid at. They actually made her look _extra _cute!

Her hands became engulfed in beautiful blue flames, which she then used to light her stove in order to make some tea. Everyone always said her tea was the best! She was going to surprise her family with it!

Creating fire wasn't the only thing she could do, either. She could absorb the abilities of anyone she touched, and she could hold up to five at a time. She is so special! Currently, she possessed the following: Phoenix Mimicry, which allowed her to create flames, fly, produce healing tears, and be reborn from her ashes if she died; Enhanced Synesthesia, which let her see sounds and use them to influence emotions, draw people in, etc; Supercharging, which was a red lightning-type thing that could amplify others' abilities; Phasing, which allowed her to pass through solid matter; and Terrakinesis, which she had gotten from Samuel. Oh, how she desperately missed him!

All of a sudden, there was a knock on her door. She went and answered it. It was Tanya, her best friend. Tanya was the same age as Xarash, and had red hair and blue eyes. Her ability was phoenix mimicry, and she loved Xarash so much that she had let her replicate her ability.

"Good morning, Tanya!" Xarash sweetly greeted her. "How are you today?"

"Good morning!" said Tanya excitedly. "Something amazing has happened!"

"What?" asked Xarash excitedly. Maybe it was a new family member! Or maybe it was a surprise party for her! Oh, what ever could it be?

"As miraculous as it sounds, Samuel broke out of jail, and he's back! Also, somehow he's now twenty-three instead of fifty!"

"Oh my gosh! Where is he?" asked Xarash happily. This was amazing!

As she walked to greet Samuel, everyone happily greeted her and complimented her on how pretty she was!

Samuel was standing next to the Ferris wheel. His eyes instantly lit up the second he saw Xarash! He ran over to her and embraced her in his arms. He really was twenty-three somehow, even though, with Xarash being seventeen, it still makes him a pedophile! He looked _totally _hot!

"I missed you, my love," he said softly while looking into her bright green eyes with his sexy brown ones.

"I know," she said. "I've restarted the family, and we've kept on going. But I missed you the whole time, and I knew our love would eventually prevail and bring us together again." She then said some more mushy, unrealistic garbage, then the two of them passionately kissed! Xarash's already awesome life was becoming even more awesome!

Meanwhile, Honda was still walking towards New York.

It was important he got there in time so he could save the world.

Everyone he saw on the way told him he was cool.

He kept on walking to save the world.

Later that night, in New York City, a beautiful girl with straight, shoulder length black hair was standing on the edge of the roof of a hospital. She was about to jump.

"My life is terrible," she sadly said to herself as she looked down to the cold, hard cement below. "I have no friends, no one loves me, my parents are dead, and my ability kills everyone!" Tears began flowing from her eyes. After a second, the tears became as black as the night sky!

After a few minutes, she stopped crying.

"Now, to end it all," she said, preparing to jump. "I'll hit the ground like a heavy snow blizzard pummeling a mountain with snow, and my stupid problems that are in reality not important enough to be worth doing this will end."

All of a sudden, just as she was prepared to jump to her doom, the door behind her opened. What a friggin' coincidence. It was a guy with brown hair and eyes wearing a paramedic uniform. When he saw what she was about to do, his eyes widened and he quickly ran towards her.

"Woah! What do you think you're doing?" he yelled, pulling her off of the edge.

"I'm going to end my misery!" she replied with a sob. As she began crying, her ability kicked in. The guy's eyes turned black along with hers, and he was in an extraordinary amount of pain.

Just then, he lightly touched her arm and did something. It was almost as if he was drawing something out of her. His eyes returned to normal, even though hers were still as black as a goth girl's lipstick.

"I'm sorry," she blubbered.

"It's ok," the guy said, embracing her. "Why are you up here?"

"Because," she sobbed, "my life is miserable! This is the 1,576th time I've tried to kill myself. Everything in my life is horrible, and everyone hates me!"

"I don't hate you," he said. "I'm Peter. What's your name?"

"I… I'm Faith," she replied, her eyes returning to normal.

Meanwhile, in Chennai, India, Mohinder had been up all night trying to find out anything he could about the mysterious, beautiful woman from his dream the previous night. He hadn't gotten any sleep at all, which had been worrying Mira.

"Mohinder," she began, walking into the room, "you haven't slept at all. I am worried. What is it that could be so compelling that you stay in here all day?"

"It's nothing," he replied, not looking up from his research.

Mira sadly walked away. She wondered what on Earth could be going through the mind of her husband.

After another hour of research, Mohinder accidentally fell asleep. Once again, he began to dream. At first, it was a normal dream- he was in his old apartment in New York, cleaning Mohinder the lizard's terrarium, when all of a sudden, something was different. He turned around, and saw her standing in the door. She looked even more beautiful than before. She was literally the only thing Mohinder could even think about!

He rushed towards her to embrace and kiss her. However, she placed a finger on his lips.

"What is it?" he asked surprised. He had to have her!

"I need you to do something for me," she said. "Then we can be together."

"Anything," Mohinder instantly replied. "I'll do anything for you."

"I know you will," she replied. "They always do."

"What is it?" he asked, eager with anticipation.

"Five years ago, you were doing research into a list your father compiled. I need that list," she said. "Can you give it to me?"

"Of course," he replied. "Even though that could risk their lives, and you come off as a manipulative bitch, you're so beautiful that I'll do it anyway. How do I get it to you?"

"Don't worry," she said slyly. "Just leave it outside of your front door. I'll find it." She then allowed him to kiss her.

"What do I call you?" he asked.

"My name is Ravyn," she replied.

And more manipulative Anti/Evil/Villain Sue nastiness.

One day ago…

Luna suddenly appeared in Tokyo, Japan. She had been searching for what the key she had found went to. Fortunately for her, she had finally found a lead. She was standing outside an old firehouse that she knew that Hiro had once used as a secret headquarters. She had actually been there a few times.

She walked in the door and began looking around. Wherever Hiro was, she would find the answers here. Her intuition told her, and she was never wrong when it came to things of this nature.

She began searching throughout the building. After a few minutes, she began searching Hiro's desk. She looked through all of the drawers, and, finding nothing there, she turned on his computer. Hooray for invasions of privacy. The words "ENTER PASSWORD" flashed on the screen.

Luna thought back to what Hiro had told her before: the password was the name of someone important to him. Hmm… It didn't take her long to figure it out. The password was "Luna".

Once she was in the computer, Luna began looking for the file that would tell her what she needed. After awhile, she found what she was looking for. The key opened a safe deposit box at a bank in Paris. Luna teleported there instantly, bringing her another step closer to reuniting with Hiro.

Honda got to New York.

"Ok, I have to find the villain and beat him to save the world," he said to himself.

A person came up to him and told him he was cool.

"Thanks," he said.

In another part of New York, Faith was walking to the hospital. Peter had made her feel much better last night, so she didn't feel like a bird in a cage that couldn't spread its wings anymore. At least for now.

Faith was a nurse at the hospital, even though she was only eighteen. She had become a nurse after running away from the orphanage, where they would beat her constantly and make her do chores. Everyone always told her that she was the best nurse ever, but she didn't believe so.

As she walked in the door, she saw Peter. He started walking towards her.

"Good morning," he said. "Feeling any better?"

"Yeah, a little," she replied.

"That's good," said Peter. "Listen, after work today, would you like to get some coffee or something."

"Um, ok," she said.

"Great. I'll see you then." Peter then walked out the door.

Faith was slightly excited. She was glad Peter wanted to be her friend, even though she didn't think she was that pretty. She didn't even think about the mopey, whiny, and depressed part, but whatever.

Just then, a doctor came up to her. "Nurse Moonflower! We need you in the ER!"

She then ran to the ER to help.

Xarash woke up in her bed. She got decided to wear a pair of jeans and a beautiful-colored pink tank top and got dressed. She then rushed to Samuel's trailer. He had been exhausted from his daring escape, so he had gone to bed nearly as soon as he arrived the previous day. When she arrived, she knocked on the door.

Samuel opened the door. His eyes instantly lit up when he saw Xarash. "Good morning, my love," he said to her with a smile.

"Good morning," she said sweetly. "Tanya is making blueberry pancakes. I taught her the recipe I gave Mrs. Comey that she used to use. Would you like to come have breakfast with the rest of the family?

"Of course, my dear," he replied as he walked out of the trailer and closed the door. He and Xarash began walking towards the area where the table was. "After breakfast, I must tell you about something I have learned upon my escape. It's something only you can stop."

"Ok!" said Xarash as they sat down for some delicious blueberry pancakes made with Xarash's amazing recipe.

After breakfast, the family was just sitting around the table, talking. There were, including Xarash and Samuel, twenty-three of them.

"I'm so glad you taught me to make those pancakes, Xarash," said Tanya. "They were good, though not as good as if you had made them, of course!"

"Now, I must tell you what I have learned," said Samuel. "There is a man who will be in New York City, on Kirby Plaza, tomorrow. If he is not stopped then, at some point in the future, he will come here, after our family." How Samuel knew this, when he can't see the future or anything, doesn't matter, because this is an important plot device. Y'know, it would've made more sense for a family member to be able to see the future, but whatever. Anyway, back to the story.

"Oh no!" cried Xarash. She loved her family far too much to let some evil villain hurt them! She was the only one powerful enough to stop him!

"You must stop him," said Samuel. "No one else can. We're all depending on you, my love."

Samuel and Xarash then passionately kissed, and she flew into the air towards New York to stop this monster!

Meanwhile, in India, Mohinder woke up and got out of bed. He had seen Ravyn in his dream again the previous night, and had told her he had done what she asked. He had left the list, as well as many other important pieces of information, outside of his front door. He walked outside, and all of it was gone. She had been here! He sniffed the ground she had walked on.

Mira walked by and saw him acting like a freak. "Mohinder? What are you doing?" she asked.

"Shut up!' he yelled as he continued to sniff and lick the ground.

A few dozen feet away, Ravyn was standing there, holding the boxes of files. She laughed at the scene she was watching, then walked away.

Meanwhile, in Washington, Ravyn woke up and got out of bed. She turned on her computer, where she had put all of the data Mohinder had given her.

"I love sex and money and power!" she laughed to herself as she looked over the information. Then, something caught her eye. She stopped laughing and read what she had found.

"Hmm… On Kirby Plaza…" she said aloud. "Tomorrow? He's going to mess up everything! I can't allow that…" She closed her laptop, stood up, and looked out the window.

Luna appeared at the bank in Paris. She walked in, and was escorted to the safe deposit boxes. Thankfully, she spoke French, so she didn't have to freeze time and break in or anything.

Once the guy who had escorted her there left, she took the key in her hand. Whatever was in this box would lead her to Hiro… She unlocked the box, expecting anything.

Inside, was a piece of paper. On it was a written account of a future Hiro had been to. It was horrible! Too horrible to even describe! Luna was shocked! It seemed that the only way to stop it was by defeating a villain in New York! He would be on Kirby Plaza tomorrow night! Luna had to prepare to save the world! She was the only one who could stop this horrible future from happening!

Faith was walking to meet Peter for coffee. Just then, she got a text from him. It said that he had had a dream that she had to head to Kirby Plaza to save the world tomorrow after work! It totally isn't because the author of this story is completely sick of writing this chapter! She didn't know if she could, but she had to try for the sake of the world!

** This chapter took forever to write. Chapters in Volume Two will likely take the full two weeks to write, and possibly even longer if I don't manage to finish it this summer. Some of the things about the characters will make more sense later (i.e. abilities, motivations, etc). Also, one of my favorite things is the different writing styles I'm using for each Sue, which I'm hoping people are picking up on. Each chapter of Volume Two is going to be fairly complex, balancing the individual Sue-ness and the interactions of the Sues without neutralizing the comedy. I think I'm up to the challenge.**


	13. Perfect Little Worlds

Chapter Two: Perfect Little Worlds

It had been five days since Serenity had battled Ares on Kirby Plaza. Thanks to her, the world was saved. Yeah… Thanks to her…

Serenity hadn't stopped thinking about those five people who had interrupted her battle for one second. Who the hell were they to steal her thunder? On top of that, Serenity's brother, Sylar, had been missing for four days. This just wasn't her week. But why? She had never felt this way before. Everything in her life had always been perfect…

She got up and began looking for some clothes to wear for the day. She had to be at work in a little over an hour, since today was Saturday. Today, she decided to wear black, knee-high, high-heeled boots; tight white pants tucked into the boots; a black, sleeveless, button-up shirt; and a long, black, dress-like coat. She put on her godsend necklace to complete her look, then walked out the door. As usual, she looked extraordinarily gorgeous. She was _much _prettier than any of those bakas she had encountered on Kirby Plaza. Yeah! She was, like, a million times better!

She exited her dorm and zoomed into the air towards the Company, looking super cool and beautiful while doing it.

Meanwhile, in an unknown location…

Sylar was passed out, shirtless and chained to the wall of a dark, dingy room. He had large amount of dried blood on him, but no wounds, thanks to his ability to heal. All of a sudden, he heard a noise outside of the room, jolting him awake.

"Who's there?" Sylar shouted. He had no idea what was going on, nor how long he had been there. The last thing he remembered was walking next to a fountain at Arlington University. But after that, he was drawing a blank.

Ravyn walked in the door. Sylar had never seen anyone so beautiful in his life!

"Who are you?" he asked, wary of this gorgeous stranger.

She laughed. "My name's Ravyn Darkthorn. And you're my new plaything."

"What?" he asked with surprise.

"I said," she began as she rushed across the room and grabbed him by the throat, "you're. My. New. _Plaything._"

Sylar was terrified, and yet, he was somehow enjoying this. Because, you know, having your trachea crushed, even by someone who looks good, is totally pleasant.

She put her lips inches from his. "I'm going to put you to good use," she whispered before kissing him.

Faith was walking to meet Peter at his apartment. This was the first time she had ever had a friend like this! She was so excited! She hadn't thought about blowing her whiny brains out for days! She was still totally depressed though, because she wouldn't be an Angsty Sue otherwise. She has sooo much to be sad about! Her life _sucks!_

She was so glad Peter had told her to save the world! If the world was destroyed, she wouldn't be able to be whiny and sad anymore!

She entered Peter's apartment building and walked upstairs. She reached his door and nervously knocked. He answered almost immediately.

"Hey!" he said with a grin. "Come on in."

Faith entered the apartment, and Peter closed the door behind them. As she walked in, Faith noticed a blonde-haired woman standing in the living room.

"Oh, um, hi," she nervously greeted this stranger.

"Oh yeah," began Peter, walking towards the woman, "this is Emma. Emma, this is Faith."

"It's nice to meet you," said Emma, extending her hand.

Faith hesitated for a second, then shook her hand. "Uh, you too."

This was horrible! What if they were together? Faith knew that it was too good to be true that a guy liked her! This was the worst thing ever!

"So…" shyly began Faith, "How do you two, um, know each other…?"

"Emma works at the hospital too," said Peter. "She's in her residency as a surgeon."

"Oh, you work at the hospital?" asked Emma, to which Faith shyly nodded. "Oh! You're that really great nurse that everybody's always talking about! Wow! It's so great to meet you!"

"Oh! Um, thanks!' said Faith, taken aback by Emma's compliments. She didn't think she was that great, and was always surprised when other people said she was. She had only saved a million-billion lives in a short time, but to her, that wasn't a lot. Everyone always told her she was amazing anyway. Why was that?

(Author's Note: Isn't it great how humble Faith is? She's sooo awesome, and not boring or whiny at all!)

All of a sudden, the doorbell rang.

"Oh yeah, I ordered a pizza. I'm not exactly a great cook," Peter laughed as he headed to the door.

"So," Emma whispered as she leaned in towards Faith, "are you and Peter seeing each other?"

"Wha-? Um, uh, no," she replied, shocked. "Why do you ask? I thought you two were… uh… you know."

"Oh, no," replied Emma. "We were for awhile last year, but it just wasn't going to work. We're still friends though."

"Oh, ok," said Faith. What a relief! She didn't feel like making her 1,577th suicide attempt when she got home anymore! Yaaaaaaaay!

Peter closed the door and headed to the counter, pizza in hand. "Help yourselves while it's hot."

Meanwhile in Costa Verde, California…

Honda was on his way home from school. He had fought a lot of villains since he stopped the bad guy in New York.

He was so cool.

He had a new girlfriend who was a cheerleader. She was pretty. She said she loved him and only him and would do anything for him.

When she told him this, he responded with, "Ok, cool."

Somewhere near Lawrence, Kansas, the Carnival was packing up to move on to the next location. Xarash had just helped some of her adoring family dismantle some rides while she was on her way to bake cookies with Tanya.

"Thanks Xarash! We could _never _have done it without you!" they all cheerfully exclaimed.

"No problem!" replied Xarash as she continued walking towards where Tanya was.

"Oh, Xarash!" Tanya happily greeted her when she arrived. She was so excited to be around Xarash!

"Good afternoon, Tanya," she replied with a smile.

"I'm so glad you're here!' Tanya exclaimed. "I can never make cookies as good as you! Mine come out all lumpy and weird, not sweet and in perfect circles like yours!"

"Oh, Tanya, what I do isn't so special. _Anyone _can do that," Xarash said sweetly.

The two of them began working on those _nummy cooooookies. _Or, at least the ones Xarash made would fit the qualifications of being "nummy"; Tanya's tasted as if a person had eaten them, thrown them back up, someone had stepped in it, then the person had eaten and thrown them back up again. It wasn't Tanya's fault though, she just isn't awesome like Xarash.

"So," said Tanya with an enormous grin as they were baking those cookies, "tell me again how you saved the world the other day!"

"Oh, that old story again?" asked Xarash. Why was it that everyone was always asking her to tell about all the times she's saved the world?

"Yes, please!" begged Tanya with an urgent sense of excitement and retarded, child-like wonder.

Speaking of imbecilic children, all of the carnie children had heard the word "story", and, since that's the only entertainment they're allowed to have in this creepy cult, they came barreling towards Xarash to hear. One nearly ran into the fire on accident, but Xarash phased through it and caught him, then sat him down.

"Thanks Xarash! You're so cool and pretty!" he said with a grin.

"Oh, Billy, you must be more careful. Fire is hot!" cheerfully said Xarash with a smile. She is sooo smart; she knows that fire is hot!

"Ok, story now!" merrily exclaimed Tanya, who was so excited she was on the verge of foaming at the mouth.

"Yaaaaaay! Story!" cheered the children.

"Ok, ok, settle down," gently said Xarash with a smile. "Well, Samuel had told me about a _bad man _who was going to come hurt our family. He was _very _powerful, so, obviously, I was the only one in the world with the skills and the strength to stop him."

Tanya and the little child-monsters were completely entranced by Xarash's stupid, boring, self-aggrandizing, and detail-less story.

"So I flew off and spent all day looking around New York for the bad guy," continued Xarash. "But New York is a _very _big city with _lots _of people, so locating him was very difficult. That night, I found him in the middle of a plaza. He and I stared each other down-"

"Hey," interrupted little Suzie, one of the children, "how did you manage to find him when you had no idea what he looked like?"

"Uh, um, eh…" stuttered Xarash because someone had found a flaw in this stupid Sue story. "ANYWAY, the villain and I stared each other down, then we began to battle! I phased in and out of the walls, dodging his vicious attacks, and then…" She created a blue flame in her hand, "I fried him and saved the world!" She extinguished the flame in her hand.

"Yay! Whoo! You're the best, Xarash! You're so awesome and cool!" cheerfully exclaimed Tanya and the little poop machines.

Xarash, with a big smile on her face, went back to making cookies with dumb ol' Tanya.

Serenity and Terra were in Shiprock, New Mexico. Their assigned mission was to bag and tag a man with an ability the Company wanted to study. After they captured him, they were to take him to Odessa, Serenity's hometown, in order for him to be studied for a few days before being released.

"Now, where are we supposed to be looking?" asked Terra, even though she had read the mission specs, like, five minutes ago before they had teleported in. She's sooo much dumber than Serenity! But, of course, her stupidity allows the suethor to spell out the obvious and state exactly what's going on while elevating their totally awesome Mary Sue!

"He works at a diner on this street," replied Serenity knowingly. "When he leaves for his lunch break, we're going to grab him."

"Oh, ok, thanks, Serenity-san! You're such a good, smart agent!" cheerfully exclaimed Terra. "Is his ability very dangerous? What kind of fight are we going to have on our hands?"

"It's slightly dangerous, but we can handle him without activating it," replied Serenity. "His blood is acidic, so as long as we don't injure him too badly, we don't have to worry."

"Wow," said Terra. "Acidic blood… can you imagine if either of us had that when we'd have sleepovers and cut ourselves, which is _totally _normal, back in high school? Lulz!"

Serenity let out a slight, beautiful, awesome laugh. It was, like, the _best _laugh EVAR!

They walked down the street towards the diner, and hid in the shadows, waiting for their target to exit.

About an hour later, their mark walked out the front door of the diner. He was seemingly in a hurry. Serenity and Terra walked towards him.

"Hey you!" yelled Serenity, which caused the guy to turn.

"Me? Uh, do I know you?" he asked as he took a step towards them.

"Not for long," replied Serenity as she grabbed him.

"Hey! What are you doing?" he yelled, struggling with Serenity.

"I know, I'm super-beautiful and intimidating, but you've got to hold still and come with us," said Serenity.

"Let me go!" he yelled, continuing to struggle. Strangely enough, even though this was happening in front of a friggin' restaurant, no bystanders seemed to notice or were even around.

She then karate chopped the back of his neck, (recall, she's an _expert _at all martial arts) causing him to pass out.

"Yeah! You got him! Way to go Serenity! You're amazing!" merrily exclaimed Terra as she rushed over towards Serenity.

"Thanks," said Serenity. "I got something else too," she added coyly.

"The ability?"

Serenity rolled up her sleeve and telekinetically cut her arm slightly. The blood dripped down and actually started making the sidewalk smoke a little. The wound then healed.

"The ability," answered Serenity with a smirk. She grabbed the unconscious guy and Terra's arm and teleported to Primatech Paper in Odessa. The researchers there would study the guy for a few days, erase his memory, and bring him back.

They arrived and completed their mission.

"It's been a few months since we've been home, huh Serenity-san?" said Terra.

"Yeah," she replied. So many good memories, and even more painful ones, rushed into Serenity's pretty mind.

"It was so different back then…" said Terra, trailing off and reminiscing.

"Yeah," said Serenity. "I've come so far. Since here, since high school."

"So many memories…"

In Costa Verde, Honda realized that it was Saturday and he shouldn't have been walking home from school earlier.

He was there for some other reason, not because the author of this cool story didn't realize the day was already established.

Authors of "cool" stories like this do that all of the time. I think it's because they're speshul nd impoartand.

Meanwhile, Luna was in her cave outside of Las Vegas. She had just taken a shower, because her cave totally has a full bathroom with running water, and sat down on her couch in the living room. She didn't have any more leads on Hiro since she saved the world five days ago. And those five people… They made her… uncomfortable. And suspicious…

She picked up her sword off of the coffee table and stared at the reflection of her eyes in the blade. Maybe one of them had something to do with Hiro's disappearance… If so, she would find out.

Meanwhile, in Washington, D.C….

Ravyn was relaxing in her apartment. It had been five days since she saved the world. Not that she cared about the world or anything, she just didn't want it destroyed or taken over by someone other than her.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

"Enter," she said seductively.

A tall guy with glasses and brown hair walked into the apartment. He looked to be around twenty.

"Alex," she greeted him with a sultry smile. "I'm so glad you came."

"I'd do anything for you," he said.

"I know," she replied as she stood up and kissed him. "Your big job will come soon, just like the others." She kissed him again. "It's my world now."

And more nastiness with canon characters.


	14. Imitations

Chapter Three: Imitations

Serenity and Terra had decided to spend the entire weekend in Odessa, reminiscing about their past, as well as to think about what may lie ahead in the future. Serenity also wanted to pay respects at the grave of her master, who was killed seven years ago.

The two walked away from Primatech Paper, where they had just completed their mission. Short of being called back in to the Company, they would have all weekend to do whatever they wanted.

"So, what do you want to do?" asked Terra.

"Hmm…" Serenity was deep in thought. "Well, first, I must stop by my master's grave. Then, I guess we can go to my house and watch anime."

"Oh, that's sooo cool, Serenity-san! Let's do it!" cheerfully exclaimed Terra. Serenity _always _had the best ideas!

Serenity grabbed Terra's arm and teleported the two of them to her master's grave.

Xarash had been handing out her delicious cookies to all of her adoring family members. Everyone said they were the _best _cookies they had ever eaten! Tanya was trying to hand out the cookies she had made, too, but hers were so nasty, especially compared to Xarash's, that no one wanted them.

After she had handed out all of the delicious cookies to her loving family, she decided to go spend time with Samuel. They were so totally in love!

She walked to his trailer and cutely knocked on the door. How is it possible to knock cutely? Who cares? LOL!

Samuel answered the door. "Hello, my love," he greeted her with a grin.

"Good morning, Samuel," she sweetly greeted him.

"I'm glad you came," he happily said as he exited his trailer. "We have work to do."

Xarash grinned slightly. "I thought so."

"You can feel them, can't you? All of them, out there, alone, waiting, destined to be a part of our family."

"Yes. I feel them. I have you to thank for that," she responded before kissing him. Xarash was sooo glad Samuel was twenty-three! He had always been twenty-three, even though he's supposed to be fifty and was born in 1961, but that means he would have to be fifty, but he's not, because the author of this totally awesome story wants him to be twenty-three so he can be Xarash's boyfriend, and Xarash is awesome, but that messes up the canon, but Xarash… Awesomeness… . The author's brain has temporarily shut down due to an overload of Sue logic. Please restart.

Rebooting…

"Where are we going?" Xarash asked her totally awesome boyfriend.

"New York," he replied.

Luna had been making a string map, just like Hiro taught her to make, in order to attempt to connect his disappearance and other events to those five people on Kirby Plaza. If her theory was correct, and any of those people who made her so uncomfortable were connected to Hiro's disappearance, this would lead her to him. Luna _really _didn't like those people. They acted like they were trying to be more mysterious and badass than her! But that was impossible! She was the most mysterious badass in the world!

She continued working on her string map. Soon she would have the answers.

Honda was walking down the street in Costa Verde.

His girlfriend was with him.

She told him he was cool and that she loved only him forever and ever.

A guy came out of the bushes. He was a telepath. He put them in a nightmare.

There was a big wall in the nightmare. The two of them had to work together to get out.

After an hour, which seemed like months, they got out.

"Cool," said Honda.

Ravyn was looking through the data on her computer which she had obtained from Mohinder. She had been visiting him in his dreams often lately. Using it, and with a little bit of fun "interrogating" Sylar, who she still had chained to a wall in an undisclosed location, she had her next target. She looked over her shoulder to see Alex asleep in her bed. He would probably go crazy missing her and searching for her when he got up. He would just have to wait though! She got up, grabbed her keys, and left her apartment.

In the parking deck, Ravyn began looking for her car. It was a super-cool and expensive black convertible with an all-black leather interior. It was super cool, and it was perfect for a totally sexy badass like Ravyn!

She found her car and got in. She put on her sunglasses, which, along with her totally cool outfit, made her look awesome. It wouldn't take her long to get where she was going. She started the car and sped out of the parking deck.

Serenity and Terra were at her master's grave. Serenity had been paying her respects. After she was done, she walked over to Terra. "Ok, now we can go to my house."

"Yay! I'm so excited!" merrily exclaimed Terra.

Serenity grabbed her arm, and they teleported to her house.

"We have to be quiet as we walk in, because my parents may be asleep or hungover, because they are both alcoholic and mean and stuff," Serenity whispered to Terra as she opened the front door.

As the two of them walked in the front door, a beer bottle came flying at them. It shattered on the wall inches from Serenity's head! Oh no! Serenity was instantly stricken with intense fear.

"Wha' the hell're you doin' here?" her father asked. He was sitting on the couch completely drunk.

"I just decided to come home for awhile," Serenity timidly stated. It's totally not weird that Serenity can kill a person with a thought but is terrified of her alcoholic father.

"So I guess that thar fancy-smancy school is too good for ya?" he spat.

"No, I like college. I'm president of the anime club, and…" she replied, trailing off.

Her father didn't hear her, however, because he had blacked out. Serenity was completely petrified with fear. Tears welled in her eyes.

"C'mon, Serenity-san," Terra said, grabbing her arm. "Let's go somewhere else."

The two of them left the house.

"What should we do now?" asked Terra.

"Hmm… I'm not sure," replied Serenity, who was now completely fine, even though she was completely distraught five seconds before.

"Why don't we go to the high school?" Terra suggested. "It's homecoming tonight, and the author of this totally awesome story has a _totally _awesome and original plot point that we _have _to be there for it to occur."

"Well, football is totally for conformists, but if there's a totally awesome plot point, and I get to be a hero and stuff, then we can go," responded Serenity. The two of them began walking towards Union Wells High School, which makes no sense, because Serenity can teleport, but whatever.

Xarash and Samuel had arrived in New York. They were there because there was a potential family member they had to find.

"Where are we going to look for this potential family member, Samuel?" Xarash sweetly asked. Isn't it great how dedicated she is?

"My sources tell me we shall be able to find them in Central Park," he replied to his lover.

The two of them walked up Fifth Avenue towards Central Park, holding hands and talking about how much they loved each other the whole time.

When they arrived, Samuel sat down on a park bench. He gestured for Xarash to join him, which she did.

"Now, my love," he began, "use your enhanced synesthesia to draw them in. Let your emotions become one with the music, just as you told me you have done with most of our current family members before."

"But I don't have a cello with me, even though this ability can be used with literally _any _kind of instrument, but I _have _to do it _exactly _like the TV show! Regardless, we didn't have the foresight to bring an instrument with us, even though we knew exactly what we'd be doing!" she replied.

"Oh, ok. Let's go find a music store and buy a cello for you to use," said Samuel.

An hour later, they returned with a newly-purchased cello. Samuel had bought the best, most expensive one for Xarash because he loved her so much.

Xarash sat down on the park bench and began to play a haunting melody, trying to draw this potential family member to her. It was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever heard!

After a few minutes, the person arrived, and Samuel greeted him and explained the Carnival to him. The three of them then walked off, on their way home.

Ravyn arrived on a residential street in Maryland. She pulled up in front of an old, dilapidated-looking house. This was where her next target was last sighted. She parked her car in front of the house and got out.

"What a dump," she muttered to herself. "The only reason anyone should ever even _go _in here is if they're using it as an evil headquarters, because it's creepy looking, even though it's run-down and offers no strategic value or defensive fortifications!" She walked up the sidewalk, remaining alert- something told her she was going to run into trouble, and her intuition was _never_ wrong.

She walked through the entryway; the door was unlocked. She slowly proceeded through the house, carefully avoiding getting covered with _icky _cobwebs and dust, anticipating anything. It's a good thing Ravyn didn't know fear! She's the bravest person ever! In fact, evil is scared of her! Then it falls in love with her and helps her!

All of a sudden, Ravyn heard a noise in another room, as if something had fallen to the ground with a thud. She boldly, yet cautiously, (even though those are slightly contradictory, but whatever,) walked towards the noise.

As she entered the room, Ravyn quickly dodged to the left, narrowly avoiding taser darts. There were three guys, all dressed in SWAT-style uniforms, and a guy- who Ravyn thought may be her target- unconscious on the floor.

"It looks like I've got a fight on my hands," Ravyn said with a smirk.

Ravyn did an elegant series of back-handsprings to avoid another barrage of darts, then did a super-cool spinning kick, which connected with the side of one of the guys' heads, causing him to fall to the ground.

Another guy rushed towards Ravyn and swung his fist at her, but she caught it and used her expert jiu jitsu skills to throw him. It's a good thing Ravyn has studied martial arts her whole life! She's sooo awesome and cool! The guy she threw dragged himself up off of the floor, and he and the other remaining guy came at her. Ravyn flipped over the both of them and ran into the other room and dove behind a couch.

"Haha!" laughed the guy who hadn't been hit yet. "She's running away!"

"That's what you think," Ravyn whispered to herself. She closed her eyes and concentrated.

Just then, as the guy was still laughing, Ravyn appeared behind him, brutally grabbed his head with both hands, and broke his neck with a loud snap. He fell to the ground dead. The other guy stared at her with a look of shock and fear in his eyes, even though his eyes weren't visible, but whatever. Ravyn then disappeared.

In the other room, Ravyn opened her eyes and stood up. She sprinted towards the other guy, who was still in shock, and finished him off with another super-cool spinning kick to the head.

Now that she had easily defeated those guys, she walked over to the guy they had been after and nudged him awake.

"Luke Campbell?" she asked.

"Nnngh… Who are you?" he asked. He had never seen anyone so beautiful in his life!

"My name's Ravyn. You should come with me."

She helped him up and out of the house. The two of them then got in Ravyn's awesome black convertible and began to drive back to Washington.

After Emma had left, Faith and Peter had gone to see a movie. Faith had a lot of fun, but she still didn't understand why Peter liked her, because she thought she wasn't pretty or special. Oh, boo-friggin'-hoo. Peter was walking her back to her apartment.

"I had a really great time with you," Peter said to her with a smile when they reached the front door of her incredibly expensive penthouse overlooking Central Park, even though she was a nurse and an orphan, so who knows how she can afford that. Whatever. Back to this totally awesome story.

"Thanks. Me too," Faith shyly replied, blushing ever so slightly.

The two of them then passionately kissed! Faith had never kissed a guy before, because no one had thought she was pretty enough!

"I'll see you tomorrow," Peter said. "Goodnight." He then walked off.

Faith walked in her front door and closed it behind her. She took down the noose she had been planning to hang herself with if this date went badly, because she was still totally depressed and miserable, and put it in her closet, where she kept all of the things she liked to use to hurt herself with. She is _such a deep, tortured _soul! She isn't whiny or annoying at all!

Faith then changed into her nightgown and hopped into her canopy bed with black sheets that looked like spider webs. She would go see Peter again tomorrow.

Serenity and Terra arrived at Union Wells High School, where they had both graduated from in May 2010, roughly twenty minutes before the homecoming game was to begin.

"You wanna go look around before the game?" Terra asked her super-cool best friend.

"Sure," replied Serenity. "This is probably what leads us to the super original, totally cool plot point that the author of this crazy awesome story about my amazing-ness is planning."

The two of them headed towards the main buildings of the high school. They entered a hallway lined with trophy cases, one of which had a display dedicated to Jackie Wilcox, who had been killed at the homecoming game five years ago. You know, you would think they would actually lock the doors or have some kind of security at this school, preventing people from entering, like a normal school, especially considering that someone had been killed there. Whatever. Back to this a-freaking-mazing story!

They then walked out onto a tiered, open, concrete bleacher-like area where students would often eat lunch. It was directly above the entrance they had used to get into the school. Serenity sat down in the exact spot she had always sat back in high school. Terra then joined her.

"All of those people in high school were sooo lame, desu ne?" Serenity asked.

"Yeah, Serenity-san," replied Terra. "They were just totally jealous of how awesome we are."

"How awesome _I _am," Serenity corrected her in an annoyed tone.

"Oops, sorry, Serenity-san!" nervously apologized Terra. She had almost forgotten that _no one _was comparable to Serenity's level of pure awesome! She's sooo cool!

All of a sudden, Serenity and her not-near-as-awesome sidekick heard a high pitched scream, causing them to turn towards the door they had used to get outside just a few minutes before.

"What was that?" asked Terra in a panicked tone.

"Trouble," calmly replied Serenity. She is such a badass!

An emo-looking guy, probably around seventeen, ran through the door and let out a high-pitched, girlish screech.

"Help!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Serenity ran towards him. "What's wrong?" she asked heroically.

"He's after me!" he exclaimed, tears running down his face, causing his mascara to ru… ruhuh… run HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! …Ahem…

"Who?" she asked.

"I don't know!" he blubbered.

Just then, a shadowy figure exited the building and stopped, looking at Serenity, Terra, and the whiny emo, but mostly at Serenity, because she's so beautiful and stuff.

"Run," Serenity said to Terra and the whiny emo. "Go to the stadium. He doesn't want to be seen."

"But Serenity-san! What about you?" Terra worriedly asked.

"Don't worry about me, I'm super awesome and powerful," said Serenity. "Now go."

Terra and emo lad fled for their lives towards the stadium, like a baby cheetah towards a freshly-killed meal.

"Ok baka," Serenity said to the shadowy figure. "Now you gotta deal with me!"

The figure walked forward out of the shadows. He was pimply, pale, ugly, and skinny. Serenity wouldn't consider dating him _at all! _He looked to be about the age of the guy he was chasing, and was probably a high school student as well.

His left hand became engulfed in flames, and he threw a ball of fire at Serenity, which she expertly dodged with a backflip. She softly landed on her feet on the edge of the railing at the top.

"You think that's gonna stop me?" she sarcastically asked this ugly villain. "Now it's my turn."

Serenity held up her super pretty hand and telekinetically grabbed him, rapidly pulling him towards her. She pulled his throat straight into her hand, so she was holding him by his neck a foot off of the ground.

"You can't beat me!" Serenity exclaimed with a smirk.

The villain, who could barely breathe and was quickly losing consciousness, weakly turned his right palm towards Serenity. Then, a kinetic burst launched from his hand, sending them both over the ledge! Oh no! I hope Serenity is ok!

The two of them landed on the hard ground below.

Serenity got up (_of course _she's ok!) and dusted herself off as she healed her injuries from the fall. That stupid baka caused a slight tear in Serenity's super cool and not at all weird outfit!

The stupid baka in question was still alive, though he was unconscious and had numerous broken bones.

"The police should be here to arrest you by the time you wake up," Serenity said with a smirk. "You would think I'd take you in to the Company, considering your multiple superpowers, but this _has _to be a perfect imitation of the show, so the police take you away!" Serenity then walked off to join Terra and check on the whiny emo.

Luna had nearly completed her string map, which she had been working on all day. Just then, she heard a noise. As she turned around, some guys grabbed her! Oh no!

She tried to teleport or stop time to get away, but, for some reason, she couldn't!

They dragged her outside of her cave and threw her into a black van.

The van drove a short distance, then stopped. The door opened, and they dragged her out. The last person Luna expected to see was standing there in front of her.

"Father," she said to him.

"Yes," Luna's father replied. "And now, your journey comes to an end."

"But, I must save the world again and find Hiro!" stated Luna.

"No," replied her father. "You will come home to the family mansion, because we're super rich, and take your rightful place as Vice President of Moonshadow Corp., even though you're only eighteen and are in no way qualified for that position."

"But father," protested Luna, "this is something I must do. It is my destiny."

"No," he responded angrily, "your destiny is to honor your family."

"I am sorry, father," she said, "but I must follow my heart."

"…Very well," he responded, for some reason changing his mind all of a sudden. "Godspeed, my daughter." He then left with the men who had brought Luna there, leaving his daughter in the middle of the friggin' Mojave Desert.

Luna then teleported back to her cave. She had work to do.

**Sorry this took so long to write. I've had severe writers' block all month. I had another part of this chapter planned for Faith, but I decided to drop it since this was getting too long already. Things will really pick up after the next chapter, as I will be done fleshing out the other Sues. Also, another thing to keep up with is the dates on which each chapter takes place. I never explicitly state them, but I keep track of it. Chapter One of Volume One ("I Am Become Perfection") takes place on September 17, 2011, so you all can figure it out if you're that bored.**


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